Many of us find a strange inability to rest. We can engage in the holiday/weekend external activities no problem - however we sit in this oddly controlled internal framework that has convinced us that we need to get on with the day and prove ourselves...usually just to...ourselves...
Its an internal prison that can be strangely comforting. While external output's of hanging with friends and family is happening...genuinely resting or enjoying the people is no where near reality. For most of us, it a subconscious tool we use to stay in control - protecting us from being truly seen or known...it's a lonely way to live.
The derogatory term for this would be shoulding on yourself. Going about with a mental checklist of things that you 'should' do - usually letting those around you know in a self righteous fashion. In reality its a feeling that you carry to make you feel better about your own lack - as you are trying to prove both to yourself, and to others - that you have real value. The less derogatory term would be worrying. Either way it's incredibly debilitating. Preventing you from every being fully present, and ever engaging in any sort of actual rest and refueling.
If this applies to you - try this.
Get your eyes off of yourself
- selflessness is surprisingly freeing. Break the social norms of sarcasm with bold encouragement. Take a moment and ask someone around you a meaningful question like - "whats the most rewarding part of your life?"
Ask a friend you trust for help
- this will require some vulnerability
I know this is a massive issue, if its one playing out in your life - make a powerful choice this holiday season to engage it! You have value and shoulding on yourself will not help!
Live big and dominate life today!