Admitting My Faults As A Partner To My Girlfriend
I want to make this video because I want people to understand that no matter how perfect a couple looks, there should always be a continuing dialogue to help improve on weak points and recognize strong points!
I think that if you feel like your relationship is literally 100% perfect OR if YOU feel like you are 100% perfect in the relationship and that issues stem from your partner, you definitely have things to work on. In my past relationships I've made the mistake of thinking I was unequivocally right about things because I felt that problems stemmed from underdevlopments in my partner...not realizing that that attitude itself became a catalyst for smaller issues in the relationship to fester. I personally like to take an account and audit of how I feel our relationship is working at the moment.
One thing that I've definitely noticed that I need to work on is my balance between work and my relationship. I've realized that it's not a passive balance, it's an active one that you put thought into consistently. Very easily I can get 100% enthralled into projects and I will forget or under commit to parts of the relationship. For example, I might
have a ton of projects to be working on but also know that valentines or an anniversary is coming up and instead of schedule it in as an equally important event, it's an event second to the primary work objectives.I'm an odd mix of introvert and extrovert. I love to be around people and I love to be completely isolated in silence. This is something that I have realized a lot more in the last few years and it's something that I learned I needed to convey to Sammy. Instead of letting her know I needed to be alone, I would sometimes just wait for events or trips. It's important to live the way that makes you happiest and all it takes is open communication...that's my biggest weakness.
It might sound cliche because communication is a weakness of most relationships but for me personally, opening up about feeling in a relationship has always been hard. Not expressing emotion or affection but rather starting a dialogue about an issue or topic that is just sprouting, a very small topic, I tend to rationalize that the topic is so small that I can bring it up sometime soon in the future or that it isn't a big deal. This always allows that sprouted topic to grow in and gain some roots, which makes it more difficult to cultivate later on.
I apply my values, morals and goals too entirely to my partner. Now, sharing a lot of similar goals or values is awesome but it's definitely not necessary on all fronts. One of my problems is that I have high-risk, high-attention goals that require a specifics set of skills, experience and interest and I sometimes will fault my partner for not being the exact same...which is ridiculous. Where it comes from, I think, is that balance of work and relationship where if my head is 100% consumed by this project I'm working on, I mentally put everyone around me into a box where they should also be thinking about or working on some part of that project with me. If not, then I can confuse my work and relationship brain and fault that person for not being more on top of things...but it's my thing! Again separation between work and play.
These are some of the faults that I've noticed and analyzed in myself in my relationship and these are some of the areas that I put attention into becoming better at and changing my reactions. By no means does any of this make me scared, of the value of our relationship or of what people will think, instead this makes me feel more confident and strong in our relationship because I'm not operating blind, my subconscious mind is aware of the things I want to change. If you have things you need to work on and your partner needs to work on, HAVE THE CONVERSATION, because the fact you are willing to bring it up and work on it already proves you care! I hope this video helps you guys analyze yourselves thank you!
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