My name is Ade ,Reside in Lagos and now in a relationship full of dilemma.
I'm in love with a lady Nneka an igbo lady, beautiful and brilliant, lovely and 'caring' ,she is also in love with me but there are lot of issues facing the relationship.
The issues below:
1. Nneka is 5years older than I. Though people used to say age is just a number and love knows no 'age' but can this be applicable when one wants a stress free and successful relationship?. Will she respect me, wedding or no 'wedding', there will be a day that we will quarel and won't she use the age gap against me？there are instances women will have to shield their sword in order to let peace rain like 'kneeling' down, 'begging', crying e.t.c, can a ‘lady’ that is ‘older’ than a guy do all these?
2. She is a 'divorcee'. Though i don't blame her for this, as leaving a marriage is a thing of 'self' decision. It is clear she suffered a lot in her previous marriage based on what she narrated to me but i kept asking myself this questions
what if she reconcile with her ex man? having it in mind that she has given birth to three cute children for him,
what if i irritate her or my job has little problem and i'm unable to sustain her 'financial' needs, won't she bows out?
what if those kids decide that their mum should go back to their dad, what then will be my 'fate'?
3. Religious difference. There is this popular saying that two heart live as one and this i can say is the backup of most 'successful' relationship.
I am a traditionalist even though i do go to church while she is a christian. Though we have discussed this issue and agreed 'mutually' that we should carry on but there is this fear in me that once i ask her to perform some traditional rites, she might bout and this could be dangerous to my marital pursuit.
4. She has another lover. One fact about this relationship is that we have been very open to one another. I told her about my past and she also open hers to me. But on a night that we were having sober reflections, she opened up to me that she has a lover simply named Tunde and that he is the one taking care of her finances before i came into her life and that the man is married but she couldn't leave him or call it over their secret relationship until she gets a job. I told her to choose between me and Tunde but she keeps begging me to let us make it a secret, that when she gets a job, he will let him go.
I told her that i can't play the role of a second class but she kept begging me, telling me that she loves me and couldnt trade me for anybody.
This is a trying time for me. I have ended all my relationships with other ladies, I love Nneka so much but these conditions are giving me sleepless night.
please should i continue with the relationship or break up?http://www.nairaland.com/3953853/nairalanders-need
http://www.nairaland.com/3953853/nairalanders-needhttp://www.nairaland.com/3953853/nairalanders-need