Can you imagine me taking my friend out, we both made our orders. Then it was time to pay only for me to bring out my ATM Card and the waiter was as surprised as ever. At first he said, 'not you ma'm , I mean him.' My friend just smiled and said, "she's got this one ." Still on collecting the ATM Card from my hand he could not hide the surprise written all over his face.
I guess the questions that ran through his mind was, how would a lady take a guy out and foot the bills or what kind of lady would pay for a guy's order. Well at the thought of it I could not blame him for his train of thoughts because all he has always seen at the restaurant was the opposite. I mean, it is always the situation of the guy taking the lady out and he bossfully bring out his wallet or ATM Card with" this man of the year" look on his face to pay the bills. So I didn't go further in blaming the poor waiter.
I have noticed that in the modern day world, there is always this belief especially among the ladies that it is the guy's(could be a best friend, a fiance, husband, father or colleague) full time job to foot the bills, do the surprise packages, buy the expensive clothing and jewelries for them. Of course we know it is the man's natural duty to provide, protect and profess according to Steve Harvey's "Act like a lady think like a man." If you have read that book you will know what am talking about. But then this ideology have come to so cloud the ladies mind that they forget that a men too is human who deserves love and attention.
Most times a lady's excuse is always, "he is the man." Hmm and so? Does it mean that you can not go out of your way to surprise him? Even when she has a good and well paid job, the mentality is that she has to wait for him to come and take her out, I see this as an act of ingratitude. If he can do this for you almost every time what would it cost you to reciprocate once in a blue moon. Please let's take note of this facts.
" What a man can do a woman can do and even better".
This is not mouth ooo, this is the battle/argument every woman will so want to win. But then they forget that '...a woman can do even better" is not a word of mouth but with actions. There in my own ideology, every woman who do not have the decency of helping the man foot some of the bills should not expect that saying to be applied to her.
Women are helpers so if you are there and have no impact in anyone's life, then there need to be something wrong. As a lady/woman, always have the will to contribute as it goes a long way.
Doing the man's duty for a sec.
I am not saying that you as a lady should start acting like the man, maybe take the whole responsibility of providing even when the man is there, but I am simply saying that doing one or two things would not be a bad idea. Doing this does not make you any less of what you are, rather let it be as a sign of gratitude and thank you once in a while for the troubles they go for you just to make you happy and comfortable.
I know that taking out time once in a while to surprise with either gifts, dates, good food will not only make you feel good as a woman or lady but that man would never forget such kind gesture because it is not everyone that can summon enough courage to do so.
I know a friend who always take care of the electricity bill secretly, she just do this because she wants to contribute and support not that she was forced into it. On the other hand I have been beside this other friend of mine and her baby girl started clamoring for ice-cream. Knowing fully well that she had some money at hand which she saved up, then she called her husband and told her 3 years old baby to talk to "daddy". Well I won't say I was disappointed but I was just not cool with it. Unfortunately, when she called baby Zina spoke up saying she wanted ice-cream, then her daddy asked her to give "mummy" the phone, which she did. He asked her why she didn't take Zina for some ice-cream and she said she had no money on her. Ahh... come on, I don't know how he felt but I know he didn't feel good. At the end of the day, he did the taking out. Well personally I had a different opinion about that and I didn't hide it from her.
Sometimes we just don't wait every time for the man to do everything including things that on a normal day we can afford as the lady or the woman, just because he is the man... the "daddy". Funny enough you are rated on a man's book by the littlest of things.
Just do it, do not worry if he would appreciate it or not.
I know lots of women who are not always sure if their men would appreciate it when they go out of their way to do something nice. Well my answer is that they are not beasts and if are trust me some nice things can melt their soul and maybe make them turn around. Well, perfect example is your "beauty and the beast." You see? Every measure of goodwill gives joy and builds love in every heart.
Allow her have the credit once in a while.
Well I can't tell you how happy and proud I was that my friend allowed me take him out on a treat coupled with the amazing drama with the waiter. This little credits gives a woman a sense of belonging. Make her feel good about herself and on top of it tell the people around that, "she's got this one."
Please allow her shine, don't always form the macho all the time. Even if you do not have the money to take that man out, look for another way to get it out of him... all join. Even if he eventually found out you went through such length just to make him happy , he will forever appreciate it.
In conclusion, I think the bill is not his alone to foot. Be a supportive friend, daughter, fiancee, wife mother. It goes a long way, look around and fix what is damaged. Take him out, give him a good treat, get him gifts, get him anything that you feel will fit him, tell him nice things and show gratitude ; in one word be spontaneous. You never can tell how far these little things can go as far as fixing your personal and romantic relationships. Don't take and take and never give back, its not a good thing to do. Keep good relationships around you, it is one of the best way to live a good life.
I know this topic is a sensitive and controversial one, so I'd like to know what you think about it. Feel free to discuss down below at the comments, lets discuss, agree and disagree on this one.
