Getting over a breakup might seem impossible. It’s bad when you fall in love with someone you can’t have, but it’s even worse when your relationship doesn’t bring you anything good anymore and it makes you suffer.
You might feel like forgetting that one person that represented such a big part of your life and your heart is unthinkable, but I will show you a guide to open your eyes and help you see that you can move on easily from anyone.
The pain you feel after a breakup is related to your hurt ego, your worries about the future, the sentiment of loneliness or all of them combined. The first step in moving on is to make a list with all your negative feelings and see if they are strictly related to the person that loved you, or if they are related to other reasons.
That will help you to get over your emotions, not the person.
But what can you do if everything around you reminds you of that person? There’s no reason to despair. When two events become associated in your mind, the occurrence of one of them will remind you of the other.
This phenomenon is called “anchoring” (like the moment when you are listening to a song and it reminds you of a past event). When you’re trying to move on from someone, you will surely encounter a lot of anchors, but there is a solution to every problem.
If, for example, visiting a place reminds you of that person because you used to go there together, you have to keep going to that place by yourself, trying not to think of you ex. Doing this you will “break” the anchor, and in time the event won’t be associated with that person, you’ll be able to free yourself emotionally.
Another thing that will hold you down is the addiction to love. This happens to some people who become addicted to the sentiment of love to help themselves solve some problems in their lives or to get over negative feelings. Some of us get involved into relationships for the sake of not being alone or to get rid of anxiety or depression.
You won’t be able to move on with your life if you’re “addicted to love”. When you’re by yourself and you feel the need to be loved, try to close your eyes and look for the real problem.
Try to figure out why do you feel this need. Is it actually your low self-esteem caused by childhood problems? Is it your anxiety? Find the real problem and try to solve it. If you feel like you can’t do it, it’s okay to seek help.
Of course, a breakup comes with a lot of disappointments. To get over them you have to think of the future. Soon, this will be just a memory. What’s important is for you to become the best version of yourself. Find yourself a hobby, get into sports, take some time for yourself. When you’ll be proud of yourself and your accomplishments, disappointments will fade away.
The last and most important step is acceptance. When you’ll realise that your relationship wasn’t going anywhere and that you have a beautiful, surprising life ahead, you’ll be healed.
