Marriage Golden Rule 3: Never Sleep Over a Fight
To fight is to disagree on something. There is no way two people will live together and never had any reason to disagree on anything. We see things from different angles most time, but that is not strong enough to set your family apart.
What most couples need is conflict management skill: ability to settle a fight before it degenerates into conflict and how to manage conflict whenever it arises. Settle your quarrel and do not allow it to lead to conflict. Ultimately, an unsettled quarrel is what usually lead to conflict. Unresolved conflict leads to most marriage break-ups.
As a matter of principle in my family, we both agreed never to sleep over a quarrel.
Create enough room for dialogue, honest expression of disappointments without reservation for honest solutions. Learn to listen to your spouse’s complain, even when it seems unreasonable, give him or her space for expression. That is how to build an authentic family.
By fight, I do not mean combat, competition, exchange of blow or physical abuse. Do not see your spouse as the problem you need to work on, or as the enemy you need to fight. Your husband or wife is not your enemy. When you fight, do not fight one another as enemies, only fight for your love. Fight to win your love. In your fight — no loser, no winner; win together. Fight to win together. You can’t always have your way!
To be continued...
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