QuESTION: Hello Nsikan, My name is Lara Adegoke.I am 25 years old and in love with a guy of 32. I met this guy online about 2 years ago. Really, I don’t care about men and hardly think about them. But I have been thinking about this guy even before I met him. He stays in Benue and I am in Ibandan. Whenever this guy calls me, he does not sound as someone who loves me but talks as if we are merely friends. I don’t know how to tell him that I love him. He has invited me to his place several times but I have not gone there. Now, he does not bother to invite again. Should I call him and tell him that I love him? Please what do I do?
ANSWER:
First, you met him online. Hmmm. I don’t believe in online dating. It is fake and rarely ever works. Note the word RARELY.
If you think you love an online fellow, you are really in for trouble. I guess you have met him physically too. Your message to me says so. But listen Lara, you don’t know him enough to love him. Love takes time.Physical time;not facebook chats, phone calls, skype or whatsapp chats but REAL PHYSICAL TIME
Someone I closely know met a certain London girl on facebook. After conversing and talking for say 2 months, the lady came to Nigeria to see him. They were already talking marriage and the young man even took her to meet his parents.He thought he knew her, as they claimed to have chatted with each other for a long time. Before he could say Jack, he had given her over N100,000 and had spent all his savings on her. It was a massive fraud.
Yes, she was in London but was one of those broke London babes using ‘London’ to deceive guys and take their money. When she knew that he was unwilling to spend any further money, she called off the engagement and bolted with the N100,000. As we speak concerted effort has been made to get refunds.
So dear Lara forget online stuff. Deal with your feelings and prepare yourself for a good man.
Second, you say he doesn’t reveal any form of love for you. It is not proper for you as a lady to tell him you love him.
Third, the distance. I don’t believe in distant relationships, and encourage couples to try to be together so that they can know themselves. That guy has to be studied closely, not just from BB pings.
Fourth, why must you go to his place? Are you sure that you are not just attracted to him sexually?
I have told you the sincere truth.Until this online guy is closely studied offline you have no business there. God bless.