You’ll often find a lady saying she thinks the partner is cheating because he’s suddenly improved his game in bed or your own partner resisting your intent to help out in the kitchen because she thinks you’re either not being sincere or rather trying to undermining her. Why does this happen?
The truth is that relationships ride on a subtle principle of a “give and take” and the same affects sex life. These could be compliments, encouragement and support among other little benefits we gain in loving relationships. The problem is that we are yet to learn how to receive such benefits.
While it doesn’t seem the obvious, each time we criticize a partner for not doing something right, not doing it on time, or not doing whatever it is they’re doing right often enough, our relationship is affected and greatly so is the sex. But these are often part of much deeper barriers to great sex.
For some of us growing up wasn’t easy. Our parents often rejected us or criticized everything we did. Some of us on the other hand have gone through a lot in previous relationships that we find it difficult trusting others, including partners. We may forget these things but soon they catch up.
Over time, our reaction to such emotional and relational realities is that we build defenses — That we no longer accept love as genuine, we don’t value it, we think we don’t deserve true love, and we don’t even want to let others show us care — that we reject love because we think it’s survival.
The good news is that there’s a chance for you to experience a better relationship and even great sex with your partner whether you are the victim of such emotional problems or she is. The first thing to do is determine how much of your past affects your current relationship. The other thing you’ll do is discuss the same with your partner and learn to show love so the other does the same.
