For many years, psychologists have tried to find the secret formula for a happy romantic relationship, and they seem to have some opinions in common. Among those specialists, Lenke Iuhos is found, a Romanian psychologist that studies human behavior in a relationship.
In his opinion, most of the people associate relationship with the loss of freedom, and this thing changes our behavior to the point that we feel better being single than part of a couple.
When we go out in public, we wear a social mask, so we only show traits that we think people want to see. This also happens in a relationship, but in time the mask gets heavier and at one point, we can’t stand it anymore so we explode and show our true face.
That’s when our partner is disappointed and vice-versa, the fighting start, and we begin to feel trapped in a cage.
The Romanian psychologists thinks that there are 5 simple things we should do that will make our lives easier and will change the way we see happiness in a couple.
Texting kills communication
More and more couples make decisions via text, they argue and apologize through Messenger. In these cases, the rate of happiness is a lot lower, because emotions lack from the communication system. Apologies are not really apologies if the partners can’t look into each other’s eyes.
It is true that technology has made communication easier, but it’s not efficient when it comes to a relationship. Couples have to make and effort to express their feelings directly, face to face, not with the help of a phone.
Opposites don’t actually attract
Studies have shown that couples who have more traits in common are happier. The brain has a fantastic ability to make connections between our features and the partner’s. So get rid of the idea that opposites attract. It might be fun and games at first, but on the long term, those who are more alike are a lot happier then the different ones.
There should be equality in rights and obligations
When you equally divide chores, the subconsciousness gets a feeling of balance, so we become more relaxed and happy together. The lack of such a system will lead to tension, fighting and lastly breakups.
Monotony kills love
While technology is developing, our interests in ourselves and one another is decreasing. At some point, this will lead to monotony, which is a factor that has a lot of negative effects on the relationship. Boredom will only make us grow apart, because people are always in a search for interesting things.
Fighting in the beginning of the relationship is good
Most of us think that the first months of the relationship should be all rainbows and butterflies. The truth is, that’s the period we get to know each other and discover our qualities, along with our bad traits.
We might disagree, but we keep it to ourselves, and that’s a mistake.
Instead, we should say what we think and take our masks off from the beginning. That’s how we’ll know each other for good and we won’t be disappointed later.