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God has a hand in every marriage. So He often looks at the man He has made, and determines the kind of wife that man will receive from Him.
The issue of marriage is a serious one because God places His purpose on it. One of the guiding principles among several factors for a woman praying to God for a husband should be that " she is praying for a man that God has made with a vision. While a brother should concern himself with a woman that is suitable and that there is a potential help in her for the work of his calling. For a woman to be a wife, she has to be made by God. It is God that made and not man that suggest, as a husband you cannot make your wife you only find her.
ADAM
One of the things we noticed about Adam is that he was made by God. The literal meaning of "form" is to shape, also meaning moulding. It is like a Potter moulding a pot. It is the Potter that moulds the purpose of a pot. Just like the Potter, God in His wisdom has made man in different sizes and shapes according to the purpose to which He will use us. Men are made into shapes and sizes with special design, suggesting that sister's "A" husband cannot be exactly as sister's "B" husband. It is this concept that brought about the word "suitable helpmate" if men are not going to be of thesame purpose, when a sister does not pray very well.it is possible for her to get married to a man whose purpose she has no part to play in . For a serious and God fearing brother and sister, marriage is not just choosing but leading.
God shaped and formed man before raising the issue of marriage with him. Adam was shaped and formed, there were two things that happened after formation of Adam, one Adam discovered the work in the garden, two, God raised an issue with him that it is not good for a man to be alone so until God has completed the work of shaping, God does not place a man into his work and does not raise the issue of marriage with him. Many brothers and sisters have been praying for a life partner but the questions remains, "" how shaped are you? Have you been formed?
Shaping and forming is a prerequisite for any man who wants to go into marriage. When Eve came to Adam ,she meet Aman whose life God is the content. For those sisters who are looking for brothers with Jeep,central bank job or even go further to ask a brother what his bank account is and how much he has there before she marry him. I want to categorically tell you that those things do not make a home or a marriage that conformed to God's standard. You can marry a man that meet those requirements and take you through hell because he is empty of God and on earth here you will not be able to come onto fulfilment of the purpose why God created you.
The first thing God does in forming a man is to use natural things and circumstances to shape his life. After Adam has been made, God gave him a restricted pleasure,it is possible for people to pass through certain experiences without learning a lesson. You get burnt but no lesson learnt. When a man passes through processes like this, he will enter marriage without Problems, he will be willing to let so many things go because he is a "made man". As long as you have not completed this process of being made, you are not yet ready for marriage. One of the questions I put to you is, who made you? And how were you made?
It is God who raised the issue of Eve with Adam. Some brothers want to marry when the work God is doing with them is still in progress. A man that has not been completely made is not fit to have an Eve. You cannot demand for a wife when you are still an uncompleted project. When a man has been properly shaped and formed by God ,he does not enjoy all pleasures.
It is not good for a man to be alone; I will make him a helpmeet the word suggest a work. If you do not have any work doing, why do you need a helper? In other words when you don't recognize your purpose in life why do you need someone as a helpmeet,? The notion an average man has is that man and woman gets married to have children. Children are not immediate purpose for marriage according to God's plan. Children according to the Bible are gift/blessing from God and not the purpose of marriage.
IN CONCLUSION
The way your rib is made , so your wife shall be made out of you. The reason why your help mate must come out of you is for the compatibility and oneness. When a woman is made from a man they will have thesame desire,focus, vision and likeness in nature. And God will begin making a woman from a man that has been made already, it is therefore expected that a man should ordinarily be more matured in handling issues than his wife and it is this maturity that places leadership upon a man. Maturity is not ability of you being able to deal with your spouse. The maturity of a man in marriage is not shouting.
Wife is hidden to be searched for, you dig while searching for a wife. Every woman has the ability of a wife hidden in her but you have to dig. Wife is so precious that it has to be hidden. Wife is a quality found in a woman. The difference between a wife and a woman is trust wife is not a person but an attribute woman is a person but wife is an attribute found in her. Many men get married to a woman but they do not make effort to find the wife in her.