Ladies please get in here...How about guys?? Ok, y'all get in let us have this quick talk rolling.
It is about The Proposal today.
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These words "will you marry me" by a guy on bended knee with a sparkling ring, has over time been taken for the proposal. Technically, I think that should really not be the proposal, but the acts long before the big question. So far you have been dating (or courting as the case may be), how exactly has his actions and inactions informed your decision to say yes to the big question? What does his character/attitude tell you about him? Is he your 'friend'?, How does he address issues or choose to react when angry? How does he resolve disputes with his peers or with you when there is a differing opinion? Is he capable of violence and abuse? How does he treat people that work for or serve him at the bar, restaurant, car wash, work place, etc? Is he someone you are proud of or do you always have reasons to be uncomfortable when in public with him?
I have an ex boyfriend from 2 years ago. He'd be rude to waiters and waitresses, but will treat me so amazingly nice. We always had a slight fight after a date, and one evening, i told him i could not take that nonsense and embarrassment anymore, because hey, I know i'd fall a victim of his poor verbal attitude one day, and trust me, i did not want to. I was breaking up that evening.
I read a couple of weeks ago from a lady who said "I do not think the four words and the diamond are the proposal. Every act once you meet each other is the proposal." This quote is EVERYTHING!
Beware of stingy too, very important. I am not insinuating a go has to go about throwing his money carelessly to be considered Mr. Right...I am talking about a guy being ungenerous, close-fisted, penny-pinching, etc. I also read about a guy who sent out for kidney suya, when brought, he went on to count the pieces in order to be sure the person was not a thief, and then struggled to make his point that the pieces were not complete to an already totally embarrased date!! C'mon! How is this not purely embarrassing?!!
And about marriage, what and how does he talk in passing? Does he really wanna settle down with you or it's pressure? Do not forget, the proposal starts when you start dating; it is not just a question but acts long before it.
Where i come from, divorce is an almost impossible option. Would it not be better I choose right at at once?
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The amazing thing is matter how much this kinda guys get to pretend, sometimes somehow the details slip...the red flag is all over your face, but you still do not realise or you keep hoping he will change someday. Like for real?!?!
Ladies, if there is anything you cannot take, talk to him about it, and watch out if there is indifference. Then by all means, take the walk and be proud you saved yourself from toxicity on time.
Do not misunderstand, marriage is about the most beautiful thing when done right. If he is your 'good fun' and you feel right, hop in! But if you can see red flags, address them now. Do not wait till it pushes you to a tight corner and the only choice you have left is divorce. Do not stoop low, tell him you are not having it. When he proposes, please say the golden NO.
Finally ladies, be good to yourself. Establish and develop yourself as much as you can while single. No guy would date or marry a liability and not tell you the story of your life one day...how he picked you from the gutters and gave you life, except of course in a case he needs you to be a full time house wife.
Be the kinda lady you would like to get married to if you were a guy.
Remember, no relationship is perfect. It is team work (you and your supposed partner) and not solo. If you have found your Mr. Right, then congratulations! If you are still single or unmarried, please tread with caution.
Do it right if you are doing it at all