There’s more to marriage than the actual wedding. So many brides make a big fuss over how they want the perfect wedding–the flowers, the cake, the gown. But they forget to prepare themselves for becoming a wife.
For the men, however, they are more prone to look at the pragmatic side of things, which is not to say that they are better equipped to handle the commitment a marriage entails.
It’s normal to get caught up in the flurry of the romance, the excitement of it all. But more than that, both individuals need to prepare themselves for a life of commitment to each other and to the marriage itself.
Here are a few things to keep in mind before walking down the aisle:
Prepare yourself:
In order to have a strong relationship, you need to have strong individuals in it. Before you even think about marrying someone, you need to be sure of yourself first.
You need to find out what your strengths and weaknesses are so that you know exactly what you’re bringing to the table, to complement your partner, to know how to gauge yourself in times of crisis.
Learn how to compromise:
The idea of compromise is different for some people. You need to find out what yours is, and also how your partner defines it.
How the both of you perceive a compromise is improtant. There is a difference if you see it as a win-win, a lose-lose, or a win-lose.
It’s not 50-50 all the time. Sometimes one side wins more than the other, sometimes it’s 100-0. You might ask, where’s the compromise in that?
Well, you must also remember that relationships are a give and take. It’s not for every occasion, but generally, sometimes you’re on the giving side and sometimes you’re the one who takes. You take turns. It doesn’t mean that for every situation you both win.
Learn how to fight:
Picking your battles is not as easy as it sounds. It can be difficult to let issues go, especially when your emotions are driving you. But you must remember to think long term.
If you give in to the moments all the time and you don’t think things through, you’ll get burned out and probably burn out your partner as well.
You need to learn how to draw boundaries in yourself. To filter your emotions before you bring them to your partner’s attention.
With your partner, you also need to learn to work out a foundation for fighting. Meaning, to define the lines that you shouldn’t cross, to know how to deal with your partner, and also to know how to love each other even when you don’t like them at that moment.
Learn how to communicate:
In relationships, you aren’t just studying the basic components of how to talk to someone. You’re also taking into consideration the nuances that are present.
Your tone, your thinking process, and the love languages are part of those nuances.
It’s not just the message and the delivery of that message you need to think about. The love language is important to keep in mind because without it, you might not get very far in terms of relating to your partner.
You need to evaluate how you receive messages and also how your partner receives them to be able to find the right mode of communication.
Love is not a state of being, it is an action, a decision. It is not enough to sustain a relationship, but it is the best reason to be in one. But to make it work, a lot of effort is put into it.
Don’t expect love to keep you afloat. You should swim in it, but your commitment to one another will be your life vest.
Credit to Author Heather Mathews.