I used to be a very strong opponent of long distance relationships. What happend?
I met my girlfriend a little over a year ago when she was studying abroad in Vienna. By the time we started dating she had about three months left here. Going into the relationship I therefore had to accept that this relationship can not be a long-term thing.
I simply could not imagine being with someone I could not be physically close to. The thought of a long distance relationship freaked me out and sounded incredibly horrible and inconvenient to me. It was just one of these things you have a really hard time picturing like your parents having sex. - I am sorry if I just re-opend a pathway to some deeply buried memories of yours :P
Anyway, about two weeks before her departure we finally had the long overdue and awkward talk about the future of us!
Since I could not image being with and bound to someone that lives half way across the earth, I suggested that as soon as she leaves, we would just see what happens and how things develop.
What happend after she left?
To my absolute surprise it worked out incredible well. We started to video chat every day for about an hour on average. I know this might sounds pretty desperate, yet once you get used to it, it´s surprisingly satisfying.
We are still together today after 12 months into the long distance part of our relationship and we have visited each other three times within this year. Of course there have been really hard times, because being away from the person you love can obviously be emotionally draining. But if you are both 100% dedicated it can work really well.
I am of course not an expert on this topic. I have merely been in a long distance relationship for 12 months, but nevertheless I wanted to give you my top three reasons what I think long distance relationships need to have in order to succeed.
I think the most important reason for them to be a success is that you both wanna be & stay together for the long run. If you have doubts, a long distance relationship, I think, will only deepen these doubts and eventually break the relationship up.
If you are not having an open relationship, trust is the second most needed part for it to succeed. You need to trust your partner 100% that they will not cheat on you. If you can´t trust them, I really don´t think it will work out for the long run.
Regular contact! Seeing each other on a daily basis, even if it´s just on a phone screen, or talking to each other via text messaging, is I think a very, very crucial part for it to succeed. I personally cannot picture a long distance relationship to work when you only talk to each other once a week. Thanks to today´s technologies you can easily talk daily for virtually no money and therefore, I believe, today it is easier than ever to have a successful long distance relationship.
Let me leave you with this:
Before not trying at all, ask yourself what you have to loose. Best case scenario it works out well and it is way less horrible than you feared. Worst case you need to end it a few weeks or months later. Remember I also used to be a strong opponent of long distance relationships, but if I had not given it a try, it probably would have been one of my worst decision of my life.