Thank you so much for your message. It really made me smile! The PhD idea is related to metaphysics and aesthetics. I like the intensity of focus academic research gives but it's just tricky, isn't it. I think academic work actually isn't really hard-attrition is hard, so it's a biggish thing to take on. But the work gives a sense of achievement, which just feels nice.
I'm writing about a break up situation. It's just... change is hard sometimes, isn't it.
Have a lovely day :)))