Disclaimer
Before you read this please note that I am in no way qualified to offer relationship advice. But over the years I have managed to gained some valuable experience that I have put into practice on a daily basis and in turn has resulted in a much more harmonious relationship with my partner. Some of these suggestions might seem obvious at first but very few couples use them to their advantage.
Why do most relationships fail?
A question like this would be no different to asking someone how long is a piece of string. Every relationship is different and the reasons for why they might fail could be one of many. But if I had to choose one reason above all I would have to say that most relationships fail due to a selfish attitude. When people get together they are mainly interested in what they can get out of the relationship, rather than what they can contribute. In some cases if one person is contributing and the other is taking then this would qualify as an abusive relationship. Couples in this situation might stay together for a very long time but would no doubt be living a miserable existence.
Personally, I see a relationship no different to a long term investment. If you opened up a savings account and always made regular sizable deposits, over many years you would gain a good return on your investment. Making constant withdrawals however would give you zero returns. So when two people in a relationship choose to contribute and give of themselves, the result is always a positive one.
My Tips
Number 1 -
Make a conscious effort every single day to do at least 3 thoughtful things for your partner. This could be something as simple as:
- Buying flowers
- A foot or body massage
- Cooking a nice meal
- Watching a movie you might not like
- Helping out with the house chores
- Complimenting them on how amazing they look
- Surprising them with an unexpected gift
Number 2 -
Never go to sleep angry with each other. No matter how perfect a relationship might be there will always be times where you might have a disagreement or a heated argument. One of the worsts things you could ever do is to fall asleep angry at each other before resolving the issue. Some couples might even go to the extent of not talking to each other for days on end. This type of attitude is a toxic one and will only cause more animosity between you. It is always better to resolve a disagreement as quickly as possible before the sun goes down and your head hits the pillow.
Number 3 -
Always tell your partner how much you love them. I have been with my partner for over nine years and barely a day has gone by where I haven't uttered the words I love you. If said from the heart it is probably one of the most important things you can do towards building a strong and solid relationship. It makes your partner feel reassured and secure. It doesn't cost anything and yet it's better than any physical gift.
Number 4 - Always encourage and support each other. There is nothing worse than being with someone that doesn't support your dreams and aspirations. If you truly love the one you're with it's important that you encourage them to follow their dreams and offer them all the support they need.
Also, just because you're a couple doesn't always mean you will have the same interests and goals. If this happens to be the case make a conscious effort to encourage one another even if you might not believe in your partner's pursuits. It's not up to you to decide whether their dreams and goals are possible to achieve. It is, however, your job to be there for them as a solid foundation of support and a constant source of encouragement.
Number 5 - Give each other space. It's wonderful being with someone that you get along with and at times you feel like you can be with that person 24/7 and still not get sick of them. If you have this type of relationship you are one of the lucky ones, but even so spending some time apart is actually healthy. Alone time gives you both a chance to be yourselves outside of the relationship. It also gives you a chance to miss each other and be even more appreciative of each others company when you spend time together. It also provides you a chance to catch up with friends or maybe spend some time on a favorite hobby.
In conclusion
As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, I am by no means an expert on what makes a successful relationship, but these tips have worked for me and my partner over the years. We are by no means perfect but strive to be better versions of ourselves every single day and treat each other with kindness, respect and as we ourselves would like to be treated.
