Not too long ago, I was once again a single man. I had my own place, and I was about to start enjoying the bachelor lifestyle. My relationship was done months prior to my separation, and I was just waiting for my ex to move out. She did her usual cussing and badgering, but we still parted on peaceful terms. I even let her keep a lot of her stuff in my house while she got organized at her new place.
I was happy to be on my own again. I felt like I had been intruded upon and beaten down for three years and I was happy it was over. No more high electricity bills. No more high water bills. No more interruptions while I'm trying to research investments. No more defending myself of false accusations... It was a nightmare. And it was over. I was single and making big plans.
If you've never had your own place, it's an experience you must someday give a try - At least for a year or two. I love it. You can stay up as long as you like. Stay in bed as long as you like without someone pestering you to do something. Sing as loud as you like. Be as messy or as neat as you like. You can learn new things without interruption. You have more time to enjoy your life at your own pace... Should I go on? You can have anyone over you want - or no one if you prefer. You live by your own rules. Save some money. There are all kinds of benefits.
Almost all of my friends and co-workers knew I was single again, because I was telling everybody about it. But, after awhile I realized I had to tone down my enthusiasm because some people were looking for roommates, and I didn't want a roommate at that time. I was living the good life and I wanted to keep it that way - at least for another year or two.
But, sometimes, the unexpected can happen and wreck the hell out of all your plans...
I work in retail. And, some days it is so stressful and demanding that I need to get away from it for awhile. I could hardly do that with my girlfriend at home all the time. She didn't work so I never went home on my breaks unless I absolutely had to. I'd call her or she'd call me, but that was about it. But now, since she was gone, I started going home for lunch and chilling out for a while versus sitting around in a loud stuffy breakroom for an hour. You can't get any peace in there because people are often still talking about work or you're being interrupted by a manager or supervisor about something work-related. I don't wanna' hear that crap when I'm trying to relax on my break. I love all of those people to death, but damn, give me some space for a minute.
So anyway...
I started going home on my lunchbreak everyday... And, I was feeling superb about it. But, one day, I went in through the back door, and there was a meal cooking on the stove... I was shocked. I didn't have a weapon in the house, so I grabbed the mop that was sitting in the corner on the backporch. I didn't think my ex was there, because normally, she would have the curtains and blinds open. My heart started beating faster as I tried to think of who else might wander into my castle uninvited. One of my neighbors? We were cool, but not that cool? Someone from work? Hopefully, that hot Spanish chick who smiles at me all the time. Wishful thinking. No, it must be somebody who wants their ass beat with the mop I had in my hand...
I continued on towards the master bedroom, when I heard some people talking in one of the other rooms... I opened the door... Kids! I thought: What The Hell??? Then, I said, "NO, NO, NOOO!"
Then, my ex came out of the master bedroom... smiling... She said, "Hey Honey."
I said, "Nooo. Hey Honey hell. You're supposed to be gone."
I was very much tempted to call the police, but I couldn't do it. I wimped out. She said she didn't have anywhere to go but I knew she was lying.
Of course, there was a little bit of arguing, but she's back, and all of my plans have been pissed down the drain. I'm back where I started and my life sucks.
So, the moral of the story is simple: When your ex leaves, change the damn locks on your doors.
Don't be nice and overly thoughtful and let him or her continue to have access to your home. I did, and now I'm dealing with the same b.s. I was dealing with the first time around.