I think one of the biggest problems now is people are operating under completely different realities while pretending they are in the same one.
Some people think commitment only begins once some verbal contract is spoken out loud.
"We are exclusive now."
Until then apparently everything is fair game because technically nothing was agreed upon, but that's not how everyone bonds.
If I tell a woman my intentions are serious, my brain already starts narrowing focus. I am already watching for long term compatibility. Not because she owes me ownership or because we signed some blood pact under a full moon or anything like that, but because my mind naturally starts thinking ahead long term. So the patterns matter to me.
So if someone says:
"Yeah I slept with someone yesterday. It just happened." After speaking with her for a few weeks or months, my brain doesn't interpret that as,
"Oh okay fair enough technically single."
Rather it interprets it as:
"This person and I probably exist in two completely different worlds mentally." And maybe that's fine. Maybe. Maybe neither person is evil.
But people act like losing attraction over stuff like this is irrational or insecure when really sometimes it's just pattern recognition mixed with values.
People reveal themselves in small moments. Especially when they think the moment is small. Maybe modern dating is weird partly because people keep trying to force compatibility between people who, fundamentally, do not view intimacy, restraint, attention, or loyalty the same way.
I don't know. Bless
Maybe I'm just an old man trapped in a younger body. An ancient soul seeking deep connection.
But it does make me wonder...
At what point do actions begin to matter more than technicalities?
Maybe...