A while ago, my mum told me a story of a couple. This particular couple had been fighting for a while. During their fights, the husband always threatened to throw the wife into a well. While they were fighting one day, the man picked his wife up and wanted to throw her into the well. At this point the woman jumped down from his arms and ran away, never to return to the house again.
On hearing this, i began to wonder. I knew that this wouldn't have been the way the couple was relating before they got married. You know all the lovey dovey stuff. They would have loved each other, cared for each other. They would have sleepless nights just looking at the ceiling thinking about each other. This was how their relationship would have looked like. But "how did it get to this?". This was the question that was on my mind. How did they get here. What would make that man that had sleepless nights just thinking about his wife, think about throwing his wife into a well.
This was what led me onto my search for "Why men abuse their wives"
During my search, i learnt three things. They are;
People really don't understand what marriage is about
Insecurity rather than anger is the major reason why men beat their wives
There are six (6) types of abuse namely
Physical, Emotional, Verbal, Sexual and Technological.
On the first point which is " People really don't understand what marriage is about". I learnt that young couples don't even bother to do a research on what marriage is. They just think that love will find it's way. They don't bother to understand their spouse, they don't bother to try and resolve their issues. All these things affect them in the future. A marriage counselor, Gary Chapman, once said that based on studies, the Euphoric feeling that young couples feel for each other can only last a maximum of two years. So the way you saw your spouse before getting married would be different from how you see your spouse now.
On the second point, i found out from my research that anger isn't the major cause of why men beat their wives. Insecurity is. I found out that some men are deeply insecure. When they married their wives, they only saw her as a means of security. So after marriage, they want to own her. They want to control her. They treat their wives like an item. They try to distance her from those that can help her so that they can be her only source of help.
These are some of the things i learnt about why men abuse their wives.
I couldn't write all of what i learn't here, so i only wrote some. I would like to know what you guys think in the comment section below.