Overthinking...
May lead you into a lack of motivation.
It may paralyze you.
It may convince you that you are unhappy.
It may convince you that THINGS AROUND YOU are making you unhappy.
For example, A relationship, financial situation, living situation...etc
Being depressed doesn't mean you are never happy, it can just come in waves, too.
I am truly grateful for my life, but I often get caught up in overthinking my relationship.
I have a 5 month old baby with a man I truly love, but with whom I question our compatibility often.
We aren't the type of relationship where we just get each other and it all flows easily.
We are Different.
But love is definitely there.
And attraction.
I am considering having a platonic relationship with him.
Which means we will continue to raise our daughter together and live under the same roof.
I know we will eventually both want a serious relationship, and I think it's possible for us to decide we want to be together, but I also think it is possible for us to choose to pursue another relationship.
I think in order for this to work for us, we must have very open communication and let one another know if we are interested in pursuing another relationship.
We will most likely continue to be sexual with one another, but I know that if one of us had a new partner we would no longer want to be sexual with one another, which is why we must communicate.
I'm curious to know if I will get jealous, considering I am a jealous person, although my awareness of this side of myself is allowing me to let go of my jealousy by reassuring myself that everything will end up okay. I know life will bring new people into our lives if we are ready for them.
It helps that we are both attractive people...sounds bad, I know.
We both love our daughter tremendously and I think we both like the way we are currently raising her and do not want to make it difficult for her by living in separate homes. It's nice to have us all in one home.
I do think if we pursued new relationships we would live in separate homes but I think it feels right for right now to live together.
I am going to discuss this with him tonight. I don't know how he will take it. It will not be a surprise because I bring this topic up often.
I'm hoping by listening to myself about our relationship and communicating these ideas with him, it will lesson my overthinking and therefore depression waves.
Wish me luck.
J
TruthMomma
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