So continuing on to what I was speaking of towards my childhood.
there were many restrictions, and I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted inside the house, as long as i was consistent on my good grades... outside of the house I needed to be watched at every moment. I couldn't pass one end of the street nor the end of the other because eyes were to be on me.
It was quite burdening when you can see all the neighborhood friends do and go wherever they wanted. My way of being raised was like i said very strict but I all in all feel happy that I could be whoever I wanted, my creative side soared from music, gaming, drawing, reading, tech stuff etc. I had limits to however long I could talk on the phone but not on the weekend, I used to stay up especially in the summer till 4 or 5 am or stay playing games or watching movies with my dad
Oh my god there is nothing about my childhood that was bad.. I grew up grateful and blessed. especially being able to experience all the great memories with my dad. Dude I would live them ten times over, which is why I never wanted to grow up. My dad made my world just a happy place and I was always warned to never rush to adult, and you know what I took that and lived in the present EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Okay im off track...
so this guy I dated sometime this month (lets call him Brad) talked about his family, then brought up that his dad was a full-time christian (almost pastor; but couldn't and didn't want the responsibility) but he studied the bible and went to church etc etc.
One day, we rented a movie called Annabell: Creation, most of it was wrapped around demonic scenes and used a Catholic related plot. All of a sudden in one of the scenes the nun repremands one of the little girls, and uses her punishment to do one of the chores she has to complete. So Brad says, 'see that's crazy' starts commenting that people that are christian and catholic use the bible to their advantage when they catch a sinner sinning. He starts quoting pastors about 10% 10% 10% and that they use it on their new Porsche's and anything 'lavish' and materialistic they might own because of the pressure they put onto people to tythe. Then out of nowhere, without me even commenting he says, 'Guess you're a christian too huh'
and i'm like
'yeah i believe in god, i mean i don't go to church every week but yeah'
that took me by surprise because I know by the way he asked, I wasn't going to get the same response from him.
when i asked him what his view on religion was he said this:
'I don't have or believe in a religion, I don't think there really is a god and I wouldn't label myself as an athiest or anything of that' and I interruped, 'So you don't believe in a higher power?' he replied, 'Well I believe that we as a whole are a higher power, that there is more than we think. There is god in all of us. We are all connected' he continued to get quite intellectual about it and it gave me some anxiety. Because then I asked about his views and discussions he might have with his dad. He said his dad only references the bible and that his dad doesn't really say much. He said that he shuts his dad down and that he's smarter than him. That whole explanation and state of mind entirely turned me off and I shut myself off from investing in him vice versa because he is not only arrogant but cocky.
My anxiety stemmed from (Mind you I am such an open-minded human being, I respect everyones views on everything. I don't ever comment on someones state of mind I just ask questions, to seek why they feel or act on how they do):
How does one live a life not thinking there is a higher power, or a God?
how did we get here, how come we can't have what we want in the source of thought if we didn't come from some type of creation?
without some type of start?
god is beyond us, nothing for us to comprehend, so why do we try so hard to find answers, when it is out of our grasp to get the answers, after thousands of years we have not bee able to figure something this powerful, how can we now?
we've only found answers to technology and history in what we can grasp/witness, but nothing more..... and if so, what?
I meditate everyday, I believe in so much in the spiritual realm of our chakras, law of attraction etc. But i use it more towards getting what we need and finding our passion much sooner, but I wouldn't correlate that with a type of religion. Like I said I respect other peoples POV'S so i would like to hear some from you guys, i feel extremely interested and excited to hear more about this. I know there are some/many individuals very sensitive to religion, so I've never tried to get intellectual unless the other person openly expressed themselves to. Like Brad did, but I didn't ever dive deep into that perspective and seeing it from his eyes felt very empty for me. All I ever knew was God and Jesus.
What do you guys think?