Someone told me he went through a very embarrassing situation, and he keeps replaying the scene
over and over again in his mind. It happened a while ago, but he can't get over it. He is embarrassed to
be seen in public. What could he do to regain his peace of mind?
We find that our great sages had a very different response when they were embarrassed. One great sage once came home overly happy, and his family asked him why. He said, "I was just shamed.
Do you know the value of shame? It is written that if we would know what being shamed
did for us, we would actually look forward to being shamed!"
G-d allows us to be cleansed from our sins in this world, in order not to undergo it in the next world. "Imagine," he said, "If a person was given a choice of what type of atonement to receive. Imagine he would be asked, "Do you want a sickness that would require a prolonged stay in the hospital. The person would probably say, 'No, please not that." "What
about having that happen to one of your family members?" "No! Please no." "Would you like to
lose all your money instead?" "No, definitely not."
"So you want an atonement; you want to be cleansed, but you're not willing to take anything?" In the end he
is told, "There is one thing we could do for you. It will totally wipe you clean. You will not have to miss a
day of work. Your family will not be affected, and you can keep all your money." The man would say,
"Sounds great. I'm in. What is it?" They would say, "Being shamed. It's a wondrous atoenment. It's just a
feeling, which dealt with the right way, can be overcome very quickly."
There was once a woman in a large crowded city who was not all there mentally. She would stand outside and
shame anybody who passed her by. She would find out what people were saying about others, and
when she saw them, she would call out the negative remarks people were saying about them in a very
loud voice. If she saw a teacher who people did not like, she would tell them what the parents and
children thought of him. If she saw a well known and respected individual, she would tell him the negative things his so called friends were saying about him. During a war when bombs were flying, this woman was in the same bomb
shelter as a great well known sage. There, as well, she would constantly
heap shame on all the people around her. Some of the people couldn't take it anymore and were
contemplating moving her to a different bomb shelter. Before they took action, they consulted with
their leader and mentor.
He responded, "Yes, it's okay, but before you do it, I want to tell you a story about my Father. I had a sister who had a condition that if she would contract a high
fever, she'd be in danger of dying. One time her fever was over 104 degrees. The doctors tried to lower
it without success, and they told my parents that there is nothing more to do. At that moment, my
father got up and ran out of the hospital. My mother asked him where he could possibly be going at a
time like this. He replied, 'I think I can save her. If I get shamed, I'll bring about such atonement and that
will take the place of her death.' He was in charge of collecting the tuition of the school, and he knew
that if he asked a certain woman to pay, she would scream at him nastily, even in public. He went and
accomplished what he set out to do, and miraculously, the fever went down on its own."
The great sage concluded, "You can remove this woman from our bomb shelter, if you want, but in my
opinion, she is a gift sent from G-d, because embarrassment will save us from death."
We may not be on the level to seek shame, but if it does happen, it is a gift from G-d.
We clearly see the connection between faith, connection to G-d and being rewarded greatly! May we all merit to only trust even when things don't seem like they are going well. Amen!!
Based on a true story. Names not mentioned to protect the individuals involved.
revised and adapted from living emunah.