When you feel down, remember you were the fastest sperm. Congratulations on winning the race.
There are three sides of an argument. Your side, my side and the right side.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.
A lie when repeated enough becomes a truth.
The closest a person ever comes to perfection is when he fills out a job application form. (Businessman Stanley Randal)
The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this personality.
I may look calm but in my mind I have killed you three times.
When you are bored, send a text to a random number saying “I hid the body…. whats next?”
11.Some people just need a pat on the back.
- Where there is a will there are 500 relatives.
