You are not born with a reputation. Instead, you develop your reputation over time through your behavior and relationships with others. If you treat people disrespectfully or behave badly, you can develop a bad reputation. You may also develop a bad reputation if people spread gossip or negative statements about you, even if your behavior isn't actually bad. Repairing a bad reputation takes time, honesty, and effort. Ask friends and family for feedback. What could you do better? Make a plan for your future self. Strive to be the best you and treat others well.
#Assessing Your Reputation
#1 Journal about your self-perception. If you hear that your reputation is bad, ask yourself: What did you do or not do? Has your attitude changed since these actions?[1] How do you feel about yourself? Write the things you like and dislike about your current behavior and character. Think about how you can improve the things you dislike. Also, think of ways to be more confident about the things you do like, whether a personality trait or your clothing style.
For example, if your bad reputation comes from your clothing choices but you like them, that is okay. You are not doing anything wrong by expressing your individuality. In fact, learning to assert yourself is a very important life skill. You might explain to others about why you wear what you do, whether you are following a religious belief or are interested in a particular subculture like punk music. Standing up to peer pressure and bullying is difficult but being your true self makes it worth it.
#2 Ask friends and family for feedback and help. Your loved ones can offer crucial perspectives on your personality and reputation. Have they heard negative opinions about you? Are these stories true? If the stories are true, ask your family and friends for advice on how to improve and repair the damage.[2]
You might learn that your reputation is not as damaged as you believe.[3] It is still important to be introspective.
#3Recognize that your bad reputation may not really be about you. Unfortunately, sometimes people will spread gossip or negative statements about you that can damage your reputation. They may do this because of their own prejudices or insecurities.[4]
"Slut-shaming" is a common tactic used to make girls and women feel bad about how they dress or behave. For example, perhaps your favorite pair of jeans is pretty tight, or you like to wear tops that show a little cleavage. You might develop a reputation as a "ho" or "slut" for wearing them, even though there is nothing wrong with expressing yourself through fashion.[5] Studies suggest that women may engage in this type of behavior almost as often as men.[6] This type of behavior stems from deeply sexist social and cultural traditions that believe that women's bodies are subject to public comment, and it can be hard to accept that these hurtful statements don't have anything to do with who you really are.[7]
This type of reputation can be very hard to deal with because it's inherently hurtful and unfair. You'll have to decide to what extent you want to comply with society's demands, and how much self-expression you feel comfortable with. Talking with a counselor may help.
#4 Evaluate your relationships. Look at who your friends are. Do they help or hurt your reputation? If they contribute to your bad reputation, seek new friends. Consider joining a new club or volunteer group. Look for people involved in positive, helpful activities. Surround yourself with people you admire. Encourage your old friends also to improve.[8]
People also are prone to "catching" emotions of the groups they hang out with. If your group of friends tends to behave negatively, even if you're generally a nice person their behavior is likely to rub off on you. On the other hand, if you hang out with kind, nice people with good reputations, their behavior and feelings will influence yours in a positive way.[9]
#5
Check your online presence. In the digital age, it is important to maintain a good online reputation as well. Employers, college recruiters, and others will search your public profiles to find out who you are.[10] Use search engines to search for your name to see what links are associated to you. Are the top hits positive posts or professional social media profiles like LinkedIn? Your online life is real life, too, so keep it positive and above reproach.
Delete any negative public social media posts. Consider posting some positive public posts.[11] If your social media profiles portray an image of a good person, it will make it harder for people to believe lies or gossip that tries to paint you in a bad light.
Remember that things like reviews also feed your reputation. If you're rude or mean in reviews of services or businesses, this will reflect badly on you. If you have negative feedback to share, do so in a constructive way. For example, a Yelp review saying, "this Starbucks SUCKS and everyone there are CRAPPY *******" is unproductive, and could lead to people thinking you are mean or rude. Instead, write something like "The last time I bought coffee at Starbucks it took three times to get my order right, and the barista was really rude to me. This was really disappointing and I'll probably go elsewhere for my coffee." You've still communicated your complaint, but in a mature way.
If you routinely post about things that many people may disapprove of, such as drug use, consider not posting those things (or at least set your privacy settings to restrict your posts' audience).
Monitor what your friends tag you in on social media. Remove tags that seem inappropriate, or that you wouldn't want a potential boss or teacher seeing.
Set your privacy settings on social media sites like Facebook to "close friends" or "friends" for any vents. Try not to broadcast negativity publicly.
Regardless of the privacy setting, do not write hurtful or untrue things about others online. Also, avoid sending texts, photos, or emails that contain harmful content. You do not want to be a cyberbully.[12]
Part 2 ComingSoon