How many of us make promises where literally as soon as the words come out of our mouth we are thinking about the ways to break them. How often is it that our resolutions become something that a better version of ourselves aspired too? Our lower selves looks for any daylight in the dark forest to escape to. A chance to tell ourselves that next year or next month we'll try harder. Oh yeah, i'll get back to that...on the 1st of Octember.
What if your resolutions were something that you couldn't escape for a year - there is no where to run. What if you told everyone you could possibly think of that you've sworn off certain things for a year, just to test yourself. That you are going without certain vices, or spendings or indulgences for 1 short year. Would it be easier to hold yourself to a set of restrictions if everyone else was onboard with you placing boundaries on yourself. They knew that you were their ally in striving for a better existence for yourself and those around you. How much easier or harder would it be that anytime something is worthy of being shared with someone in your life you actually have to seek them physically to share it! Turns out that's pretty damn difficult. Therein lies the value.
At least for me, the accountability of my self held in the estimation of others was only part of the struggle.
Enough of the amorphous questions. Here's what I swore off and how that mess played out.
No Beer/Wheat For A Year:
Assumption: I love beer, beer has wheat, wheat causes inflammation and grogginess in me.
Adherence - less than perfect
Result: Breakdowns in Nepal, Hong Kong and China (fake alcohol is a common problem, so I made my choice for the overall health of my body. I drank less often and felt less shitty on days after drinking. It also meant that I had to say "No" to social outings with people, or stick to not drinking. The times when I broke down and drank beer I could feel in my joints and muscles the stiffness for days afterwards. Goddamnit I love beer, but it takes a serious toll.
Mod for 2019: Limiting drinking to 1 occasion per month. I will allow myself to fully send 'er to 11 on these occasions and enjoy myself guilt-free when I choose to indulge.
Set phones screens to Greyscale
Assumption: Less colorful screen = removes the hit of dopamine making the phone less addictive.
Adherence - less than perfect
Result: Far from perfect, I had to switch my screen back to color for photographing of my company products / posting to company social media feeds. The sticking point was noticing how quickly I told myself to switch back to grey. At my best I cut time on my phone to under 15 minutes a day. I felt more productive, less anxious, more focused and more disciplined.
Mod for 2019: Phones always on greyscale. Removed for photos/posting, but returned immediately to grey.
photo credit: Lifehacker.com
No Tinder/Bumble/Online Dating
Assumption: If I wanted to date I'd have to start conversations in the real world.
Adherence - less than perfect
Result: Loneliness and desire crept in more times than I could count. But more often than not my gut reaction and longing for connection was replaced with a reminder that what I was really tying to do was create space for myself to develop real relationships. Going off Tinder/Bumble was much harder than I expected. I've had a storied dating past. Characterized by massive dependencies, breakdowns and toxic relationships - all which I created or enabled. There has also been countless highs. Thoughtful, giving, beautiful, unique partners, all worthy and deserving of more honesty and love than I probably was capable of. But the point was to get better at developing relationships with women in real life circumstances and to remove the distraction of countless tempting shallow relationships at my finger tips.
Mod for 2019: Unknown. Just don't let fear / distraction rule my interactions with others.
Zero Spending On Clothing
Assumption: It'll be good for you to get by with what you have.
100% adherence
Result: The toughest part was that my gym clothes and work clothes got seriously beat down and frankly a bit smelly after some heavy use. +5 to my peace of mind stats just not having to deal with the temptation of shopping. This was especially noticed during travel when those around me wanted to shop. My focus was necessarily turned to either my work or deepening my relationship with the country or people I found myself surrounded by.
Mod for 2019: Replace them nasty gym clothes. No frivolous spending. Devote resources to your business.
No posts to FB/Instagram for personal updates or purposes of any kind. (Business use excluded)
Assumption: Get more out of being in the moment. Take yourself out of the social media slipstream.
98% adherence
Result: 6 slip ups throughout the year. I got drunk and posted about some pick-ups trucks I thought were hilariously typical of my rediscovered rural existence and I posted a pic of my father and I together at the first NFL game he's ever been at - that one I'm glad I did. Overall, the only outlet I allowed myself was to create content and posts for my new business venture. How good did this feel? Holy.Shit.Amazing. No FB /Instagram posts was foundational in helping me to me to be more present and enjoy moments. A 10 day escape to Belize with my bro-in-law, weeks in China and Thailand a summer at the family cottage were all actually about doing something meaningful with my time there. If I wanted to share the experience with anyone, I had to go find them, sit them down and actually relate the stories back to them. How novel. If I wanted to share thoughts or moments with those abroad I had to think specifically about what the benefit is to the people I am sharing to and make sure that my content was backed by the purpose of bringing some value to someone else. Maybe the best case for this is the tools sharing group I made on Facebook to keep in touch with my friends in the Nepal entrepreneur community. (pictured below.)
Mod for 2019: Create to share. Create with intent. Don't be superfluous with any of your online existence.
There are plenty of other restrictions I made for myself during 2018. All falling somewhere along the spectrum of sketchy adherence as I battled within these boundaries. But the single biggest shaping factor to my year was that these boundaries were there at all. Mental guardrails that freed up a massive amount of decision making power by knowing in advance what I was to steer clear of. I monitored my own habits and short-coming with ease knowing all along what line I expected myself to tow.
How well I did on any single restriction is not so important. But I know myself better now, so this year when I renew myself in the process of setting up my Yes's and No's for 2019 they will be that much more empowering for me.
Happy 2019, y'all.
Check out my few other posts on Steem @
- https://steemit.com/startup/@almostfitz/the-day-it-all-started
- https://steemit.com/startup/@almostfitz/experimenting-with-the-bogo-3-0-business-model
- https://steemit.com/startup/@almostfitz/why-this-business-data-confidence-and-shit-testing
- https://steemit.com/startup/@almostfitz/why-this-business-set-your-anchors-deep
- https://steemit.com/travel/@almostfitz/tourists-pull-your-head-out-of-your-ass
- https://steemit.com/worst/@almostfitz/the-potential-freedom-in-being-the-world-s-worst-entrepreneur
- https://steemit.com/storage/@almostfitz/the-self-storage-industry-feeds-off-laziness-save-money-by-organizing
- https://steemit.com/business/@almostfitz/open-for-business-11-pictures-about-launching-a-startup-speak-11-000-words
- https://steemit.com/shark/@almostfitz/i-binged-5-seasons-of-shark-tank-and-got-something-out-of-it
- https://steemit.com/dnn/@almostfitz/dnn-the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-on-how-to-create-a-decentralized-free-news-platform
- https://steemit.com/writing/@almostfitz/free-writing-cage-that-monkey-mind-and-get-creative
- https://steemit.com/data/@almostfitz/stop-wasting-time-168-hours-tracking-system
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