The plumbus is the greatest invention the multiverse has ever seen and the ultimate piece of household tech. Everyone has one and we all know what it does. It’s the squanchiest bit of technology around. But for some unknown reason there seems to be a lot of confusion around what a plumbus actually does. I think it couldn’t be clearer to be honest, it’s been explained over and over again so the fact that I even have to make this video is ridiculous, but it’s time to end all the confusion. Here’s your comprehensive guide to the plumbus….
So it’s time to explore the many functions of the plumbus. In order to do this we’re going to do something that no one who has bought a new product has ever done…..we’re going to read the instructions. Again, the fact that the plumbus even needs instructions is obviously some kind of joke by the manufacturer, but I digress.
A plumbus will aid many things in your life, making life easier, providing you with a lifetime of better living and happiness. When you unbox your brand new plumbus you’ll see the plumbus, brushing unit, frood noops, re-hydration packet, the grumbles, large grumbles of course, the fleeb, the krimkram lubricator and the warming tray. As for the plumbus itself, at the top of your plumbus you’ve got the floob. Be aware that if your plumbus doesn’t climb stairs this may be due to an elongated floob. If this problem persists, simply trim the floob. The floob attaches to the grumbo via the grodus. On either side of the grumbo you then have the chumble and the dingle bop.
It’s important to point out the latest plumbus on the market has seen some amazing improvements. It’s now heavier and spongier than ever before. Also the new plumbus is now 30% more plumbus, so you’re getting more value for your hard earned schmeckles.
Firstly the plumbus is the greatest cleaning device ever devised. It’s great with kitchens. You must hold the plumbus by the dingle bop when cleaning. It is squishy and flexible for all crevices and safe for every room. And before you ask yes, it’s dishwasher safe. It is also used as a cooking device. Be careful though the plumbus surface can get very hot during cooking so exercise caution. For those of you who are of a religious inclination it is important that you must always face your plumbus east when praying. This helps the plumbus to defend against the dark plumbus. Also here’s a plumbus pro-tip that very few people know about - the plumbus actually doubles as a Garbleflug in emergency situations. Can you believe that? There’s a load off your mind.
You need to proceed with caution when using your plumbus. First and foremost if the plumbus is too red return it to the manufacturer immediately, don’t be a hero.
Don’t operate your plumbus within seven sectons of other plumbuses...plumbii?…whatever the plural is. Make sure you always turn the Grodus to the desired trim length. Also, this goes without saying, but never ever ever stare directly at the parted chumbles. You can only stare at the chumbles through a pinhole in a sheet of paper. Oh and one other minor thing, pressing the plumbus against sensory organs will result in sickness or death, so…..I don’t know...wear gloves I guess?
It’s incredibly important to maintain your plumbus. Always keep the plumbus at its ideal temperature, it will sweat if it’s too hot or too cold. Regularly groom your plumbus and speak to it to induce the desired behaviour.
Also whilst sleeping you should never fully cover the plumbus. Luckily every plumbus comes with a 1 year warranty to put your mind at ease. There have been reports of people experiencing minor issues with their plumbus but these problems can easily be solved. If your plumbus starts humming it’s likely because it’s too dry, so submerge it in dairy. If it starts flashing on and off it’s too wet, so dry it with a towel. If airplane mode, for whatever reason, doesn’t activate you have to crack the spindle until the fluids run clear. I know that seems incredibly obvious but there’s always one who can’t figure out the basics. If your plumbus begins to grow hair then simply hold and rub the plumbus. If it swells to a large size drain the plumbus in a hot sink, as it may be full of fluids. If your plumbus starts revolving faster than 200 rpm, then simply boil it to fix the problem. Finally if your plumbus has connected to an object this may be due to the fact that your plumbus has a mouldy chumble, so gently pry the plumbus away from the object, scrape the mould and massage the plumbus dry spots. These issues happen very rarely and in truth all of these issues can be avoided simply by maintaining your plumbus properly.
Naturally there are tonnes of accessories available at authorised plumbus outlets including handling cream, the squiggle remote and the S-Sack, but plumbus accessories is a topic for a whole other video.
So there you have it - that is your complete guide to your plumbus. If you have anymore questions about your plumbus, I’m afraid I can’t help you anymore than this.
If you have any issues with your plumbus you need help with that haven’t been covered in this video well quite frankly you’re a liar and a shill for the many plumbus competitors and counterfeiters out there…..so shame on you. As for the rest of you just be very thankful that you have the privilege of being able to own and use the legendary plumbus.