SteemFest is just around the corner and the anxiety is building up. What seemed to be too much fun before is slowly sinking in with some missing heart beats. For sure SteemFest is not going to be all fun fun, there is so much to it.
From my blogs may be I seem to be a very chattery person, but in real I am exactly the opposite. It takes some time for me to reach out to people and initiate conversations. I get cold on this part. Once the ice breaks then I am fine and there is no trouble in making conversations but the initial break through is very important for me. There are times in such situation when I am at loss of words or I do miss out on my words also or I may say something very gibberish. So this is what is exactly haunting me and making me nervous for the Fest. How am I going to do my first time conversations with people around. Am I going to be meaningful or am I going to sound something very silly and stupid.
This always happens to me, the comfort level building does take some time. Though I know quite a few people but I am sure when I meet them in real I am going to be at loss of words not knowing what exactly to talk to them and in the bargain I hope I am not going to make a fool of myself :-)
I don't like participating too much in group activities, there is some fear that what if I am not able to contribute to the group and then how will people judge me, so I always fear this part when I am getting into with big groups for events like this. How will I be perceived. All of this happens for a short duration, just the beginning times, but yes it is dreadful for me and I do get cold. Otherwise I can throw myself out with full confidence once I am into it but just those first initial moments are very crucial. Either I make it or break it.
And I definitely look upto 
As the day is getting closer it is all a mixed feeling. I am getting nervous, excited, feeling happy and then also have this feeling of don't know what to do. Like today morning I was just getting things in place for self with all my bookings and I could not find my SteemFest ticket on my email. I had done the booking in mid Aug and after that have loads of emails so this was lost somewhere, for a while I was nervous thinking I lost my ticket and how will I now manage it, but eventually found it. So I guess these are the effects of anxiety that is building up for the Fest.
Anyways life is all fun if we want it to be, so let's just be calm and I am sure it's all all going to be fine and wonderful.
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