Something that most couples don’t take into consideration when deciding to have a baby is just how much their life together is going to change once that baby is born and a huge part of their lives. There will be no more spur of the moment weekend getaways or just deciding to eat dinner at a restaurant. Everything you do must be coordinated around whether or not you’ve got a babysitter or if the baby can go with you.
Your freedom is almost non-existent. In fact, it’s this issue that causes the most problems between you and your partner once you become parents. The exception to that is if you’ve got a couple of reliable babysitters or if you’ve got enough money to pay a live-in nanny to be on call 24/7. That’s not always the best solution because most parents want to take care of their babies independently. So now you’re back to having no freedom.
Babies are also notorious for regularly interrupting those special romantic moments between you and your partner. They may not come around as often as before because the baby needs lot of care and attention. So when the two of you are finally able to fall into bed together, you’re both so exhausted that sex is the last thing on either of your minds. Between all of the low energy and no time together, you both probably start wondering if the romance has left your relationship forever.
Before you start to give up on ever having one of those special moments with your man again, there are ways that you can keep the romance in your relationship in spite of the fact that you now have a baby to take care of. They’re all things that you need to get in place, however, before the baby arrives. You’re going to have enough going on with caring for a newborn and there won’t be time to organize anything.
To begin with, if you live near either or both of your parents, that’s usually a great thing. Most grandparents are thrilled to babysit anytime you want them to. In fact, they usually beg to be allowed to babysit. If that’s your case, let them! They wouldn’t volunteer if they didn’t want to. Keep that in mind. Those built-in babysitters will be lifesavers.
If you don’t live around your parents or other doting relatives, you’ll have to take another direction. Find reliable and responsible babysitters before the baby arrives. Interview several and be sure to check all references. Sometimes you’ll have some great friends that you can trust to care for your child, so definitely put them on the list. It’s always a better idea to line up several babysitters so that if you run into problems, there’s always another one on the list to call.
You’re going to love your baby more than you’ve ever loved anyone or anything in your life. That may be the first shock you’ll experience. You may even be so enthralled with your child that you can’t bear being away from him. Keep in mind, though, that in order to be a good parent, you need to be allowed to be a real person, too. That includes being romantic.