A brief explanation of this terrible piece.
I'm gonna catch hell for this, but I can't stand haikus. There. I said it.
The only poetry I think even less of is Beat Poetry, especially the terrible work of Ed Sanders, who I met and can say with confidence that the man is even worse than his awful poems.
But back to my point. I have terrible insomnia and at around hour 78 without sleep I decided it would be hilarious to write rude haikus. It goes without saying that said haikus would not only be rude but terrible, as the vast majority of haikus are.
This ridiculous piece is based on a former friend of mine and is especially hilarious because it is in 27 parts. The rudeness I think only adds to the hilarity. Or maybe it's the lack of sleep. No matter, I cracked myself up to pieces and have decided to create a running series of offensively lengthy rude haikus. Mainly because I can no longer engage in any way with facebook, and my insomnia interferes with any hopes I may have had of writing respectable poems, and all of my ensuing rude haikus are my tiny contribution to actual people I am no longer fond of, and writing them makes me giggle like a little girl.
I hope you find my obnoxiously long rude haikus as absurdly funny as I do.
If you are less than amused or even slightly offended, I recommend not sleeping for at least 78 hours and I promise you will appreciate the hilarity. My next rude haiku will be dedicated to the below average Beat Poet Ed Sanders. Based on his outrageously rude and 100% true behavior when I had the terrible misfortune of having lunch with him. Stay tuned! If ever anyone deserved a rude haiku written exclusively for him it is this jackass. I promise you. Enjoy!