It's remarkable how far a little kindness and rational, calm talk goes.

Even on social media, which isn't known for it's moderate and calm conversation.

Because when you're feeling scared, or frustrated, or angry, it's easy to be a keyboard warrior, ranting against perceived injustices.

Like Kerry, yesterday (not her real name). In our local community group, she let it rip. She was so darn furious that there were anti-maskers in our community that she even used those red faced emoji that scream quite loudly: 'I am really, really angry' - just in case we didn't know how really, really angry she was.

Her rant vocally castrated them for daring not to wear a mask. She declared our community safe until now, and that people like that should be locked up. I couldn't see her, but I knew she had her pitchfork out.

My husband, bless his socks, wrote that kindness was needed now more than ever, and perhaps there was a reason for not wearing masks. We were pleased to see that generated 26 lovehearts in a very short amount of time. This was encouraging. It meant that there were nice, kind and rational people out there that didn't have pitchforks.

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For every plea for kindness, however, there was the outcry.

'They can't wear a mask for five minute in the shop?' Jack (not his real name) asked, following his query with 'covidiot', the Shakespearean-like insult of 2020.

'Why don't they just get home delivery?' Susan (not her real name) suggested, following her question with a number of insults, very Australian in nature, and likely a 'dickhead' or two in between. 'They should have a medical certificate!'

I felt a little sick.

Next they'll be asking the non-maskers to wear identifying badges. Or stars.

I didn't want to be drawn into some online battle, but this was in our very small community. These were people I saw in the shops. These were people who came past and bought my eggs, that came to community events.

And so I had to say something.

My frustration was rising, which, in the sanctuary of my home, might be let rip as expletives surrounded by red angry face emoji. But that's not how you change people's minds.

And so I replied, with something like this:

'I know you are worried. You have a right to be - we live in scary times, and we don't want the virus here. But perhaps they have a medical reason for not wearing the mask? I suffer from asthma and anxiety, and when I wear the mask, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack and feel intensely claustrophobic. Every time I wear one in public I think I'm going to die. But I wear one, because I'm so worried about people judging me or attacking me in public. Remember some people might not be able to wear one, and by law, they don't have to, if they've got a medical reason (and no, you don't have to brandish a medical certificate), like the have respiratory disease or are autistic. Some people with PTSD can't wear them either - I know how they feel. Maybe they weren't really 'anti-maskers', but people who were unable to wear a mask?'

And there it was. Me admitting I have a mental health issue - anxiety - for the whole community to see. I felt a little ill. My heart rate had increased. What had I done?

But the wonderful woman apologised.

I say wonderful because it's not easy to swing your view and back down in a public space. Kerry did. She was immediately sorry. 'I had no idea' she said. 'I feel really bad for you. I didn't even think about people like you and I really didn't mean to cause you any harm or stress. I'm really sorry'.

'That's okay', I said. 'I understand how worried you might be'.

'Yes', she admitted. 'I have two elderly parents that I want to keep safe'.

And with that, she deleted the entire thread. I kinda hoped she wouldn't - I was hoping that others in the community might see the outcome, and the argument, and even the law. No, we don't all have to wear a mask. We don't have to brandish a medical certificate. As long as we've got a decent reason, we're all good.

The problem with that, of course, is that there are more Kerry's out there, judging the non mask wearers. Even I do. 'Why the heck isn't he wearing a mask', my inner Kerry squeals, in the moment before Rational River laughs her off, and tells her to get a grip. You just don't know people's situation, and even if you did, what business is it of yours? As long as you're keeping physically distant, and wearing a mask, you're safe - and even if you don't believe in COVID, you're being considerate of the people who are really, really shit scared of it. If you're not, you're just an asshole, as the couple down the beach last week were, throwing their dog ball right into the personal space of someone not wearing a mask as she ducked and weaved and looked really panicked.

Before the night was over, I had another beautiful message. It was from someone who worked at the local wholefoods store. She explained she'd been in absolute meltdown trying to wear a mask. She'd tried every sort there was, but ended up on her hands and knees, hyperventilating. She too suffered anxiety, and she was worried as heck she'd lose her job over it. Her employers understood, and understood the law, and said it was fine for her not to wear a mask, and should any customers give her grief, they'd step in.

They didn't.

She'd messaged me to say thankyou for expressing in a public space just how bad it can be for people with mental health issues to wear a mask, because it helped people like Kerry understand. And she wanted to let me know that if I wanted to pop into the store without a mask, that was absolutely fine.

They'd understand.