That is it! I’ve had enough of beef and chicken. I am going vegan. In fact, I am vegan already. Below, I have outlined many reasons why veganism is the healthiest choice. If you don’t agree with me, please let me know. DON’T FLAG ME.
Veganism contains everything you need
As humans, we have basic nutritional needs. Everyone of us. Those bloody meat-eaters will tell you that they get all of their required nutrients from eating plants and animals. Well, that’s a big fat lie. You can meet your nutritional needs completely by going vegan. Of course, there are useless vitamins like vitamin B12. I don’t care about them. You say what? I could run risk of so many diseases due to nutritional deficiencies? Well, I don’t give a shit about my life or the fact that other people do. I’ve made up my mind. If you see me popping supplements, just know I use them as sweets.
Veganism doesn’t hurt animals
Have you been to a slaughter house lately? Hell, you should go there and see how animals are brutally murdered and shredded. It’s simply awful. Know what doesn't hurt animals? Veganism. Let me explain. When we earmark a land for cultivation, we focus on the plants alone. We bring in our tractors and machineries to till and cultivate the soil (foolish animals that stand in our way will get killed of course). Furthermore, we spray pesticides to ward off (and preferably kill) pests and rodents who want to share in our produce. Lastly, we don’t mind taking over natural habitats of animals as long as we get the plants we need.
Veganism is 100% unique and tasty
Yes, I said it, believe it. The human taste bud is designed for plants alone. That is why meat tastes like shit and milk tastes like piss. And to remind vegan newcomers of how shitty meat tastes, we design our plant-based foods to taste like meat, sorry shit. We do not crave for meat. We are ready to open up our tastes buds. But once in a while, we want to remember how shitty meat tastes. We know you are watching, so we rather create food that tastes like meat. The same thing applies to milk and cheese.
Veganism doesn’t hurt life
We do not hurt lives. We are the real definition of humane. That said, plants do not have lives. Forget what you learnt in school. Plants are just there, like sand, stone and water. Of course, we cannot depend on sand, stone and water. We choose plants. We eat plants. That’s why we don’t give a fuck on how many trees are killed per day. We don’t care. Plants aren't alive. Only humans and animals are. (Some fake vegans eat fish. Why? I don’t know. Oh, fishes have fish brain, so they are retards and it’s okay to kill them)
Veganism has a perfect moral compass
As vegans, we do not tolerate nonsense. We are disciplined people. Sometimes, the very animals we are trying to save come back to disturb us. Well, if we tried to keep an animal alive and it’s becoming a nuisance, we’ll kill it. That’s fucking right! A scorpion walks into my neighbourhood, it’s dead. A mouse tries to steal cheese from my kitchen, that’s going be its last meal. A bull strays into my farm, destroying my crops, it’s gonna wake up in animal’s heaven (or hell, I don’t give a fuck). Of course, we do nothing with the body. It’s wasted right? That’s the idea. We are not jobless meat-eaters who put the flesh, hide and bone (and sometimes horn) to good (and creative) use.
Veganism increased awareness isn't being driven by profit
Are you following the news? Vegnism is the new blood (or orange or black or whatever). And this is obviously because of its great health benefits. What did you say? Corporations are trying to skim profits off it? Nah, you got that wrong bruv. The entire hype has no quest for pecuniary benefit underneath it. It’s just like Steemit. The money doesn’t matter. No one is gaining massively from the increased popularity and advertisements.
Aright folks, that’s all for now. Let me quickly add that a few insects were killed while producing this piece. Fucking ingrates wouldn't get off my computer screen.
That’s a wrap
This is my entry for the VEGANISM IS THE HEALTHIEST DIET Contest by 
In case of any doubt, I’m neither a plant or animal eater. I just love chicken, beef, rice, beans, yam and cassava flour. (LAUGHS) (I wonder what’s 
Thanks for reading
Blessings