I have big plans, big plans. I tell my girl all the time, but she does not get it. She tells me I'm dreaming and I need to keep my feet a little more grounded. But, just like anything else in the word, you gotta aim high or you are simply not going to achieve anything, right? I tell her, listen, one of these days I'm going to win the lotto and everything, absolutely everything is going to change.

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You know what she says to me? She insists that I'm not thinking straight, that I'm spending a lot of time worrying about these little numbers and such, but that's because she does not know that method is super accurate. I mean, there are all these people who buy lotto tickets at random like idiots, so I know what she is talking about, but I'm not being random at all, I got a system.

Its real simple, let me explain. First always buy the tickets on Tuesdays, make sure its tuesdays because Tuesdays were named after a Nordic God and that's just good luck right there. I'm feeling like sharing my secrets today, so I've made this little image to help you out too.

So, as you can clearly see, it can't fail. I've thought about this for years and years and I've perfected the system. I have this down to a science. I know what you are thinking, and I will dispel those doubts you may have, because its normal for you to have them.

Why am I not rich yet? Well, first of all.... How would you know? but then again, to be honest, its true. I'm not rich right now, but that's because I've just recently perfected my system. The other issue I think was holding me back was my job, because my boss was always getting mad at me, saying I don't focus enough and I'm not performing well. I don't have time for that, but I can't tell him what I'm doing, he would not understand.

I've been trying some variations also in the last few months, because I want to make sure that I got all the bases loaded you know. So here is what I've been doing, I'll tell you too, because I think you are going to completely understand my logic, its flawless.

I've started to change the fourth number for the amount of dollars I have in my wallet when I leave the house to go buy the lotto tickets. It's perfect, it makes sense because, you gotta buy these cash. I always have some cash to buy them, I'm always ready to be a millionaire.

I got a budget for this, because I'm not irresponsible, not like the gamblers, they have a big problem, I don't. I'm setting aside $120 dollars a week, that's it. That way I can work on a few variations of my theory as well. I know, I know, but it's like with anything in life man, you gotta work hard, you gotta go for it.

I can't tell my girl I'm doing this, she's gonna think I'm wasting my time, but that's because she's completely OK with how our current situation is. I'm not, I've worked really hard to perfect my system, its taken me 17 years to get to where I'am today.

Before you ask... I did not start buying $120 dollars a week of lotto tickets from the beginning, that would have been dumb, you gotta build up to it. Besides, I've just recently gotten a job that allows me to afford that much.

But I know this is the year, I'm going to make it, I'm finally going to be a millionaire.

Disclaimers and Such

I always feel a bit silly having to add these little disclaimers to my experimental writings. Truth be told, I feel like they are not necessary, but past experiences have shown me otherwise. This extremely strange post you just read, is meant as a thought experiment, an usual look into someone with extreme cognitive dissonance who struggles to see the logical flaws in his thinking, even though they should be painfully obvious to everyone.

Why do I write these?

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure. It might have to do with the fact that I've seen things like this in my life and I like to practice being inside their head for a second. It could be a practice in empathy, it could be curiosity and nothing more. However, it should not be hard for any practitioner of honesty to recognize some human traits in these random characters that are born somewhere in my strange mind.

What has always baffled me about people like Mr. Lotto-One-Day here is the amount of work they put into something that has almost no chances of ever becoming true. I doubt many don't know this fact, but just in case i'll share a little cartoon that says it all.

That might be offensive to some, but to be honest, its a verifiable fact. The lottery was a way to tax the poor. You should not be surprised to learn, that no millionaire plays the lotto. The pool is effectively filled by the poor, and trickles up to the millionaires.

Some graphs to let this thing sink in:

If any of this offends you, I apologize, but trust me, I'm only sharing because I care.

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