Introduction
I have noticed that my posts have been making nowhere near enough money lately. This is surprising, as the photos I post are all of such exquisite quality and so full of symbolism they could change the world. Fortunately, I have identified some solutions.
To my followers
One of the problems I see is that my minions aren't rich enough; your votes don't do much for me financially, and that, after all, is what my posting is all about: I need the money to spread the Truth through Picturestm full-time.
So, a stern warning: if you don't want to lose your spiritual guide on the Path of Enlightenment through Photostm, you had better power up! Sell those jewels, mortgage that house, and buy Steem Power! You know deep down my presence here can't be missed; you would all go astray.
Remember this: getting money to me is your sole purpose here.
To the whales
And to you whales I say: I am the most important contributor to Steemit, and I even reach out to the riff-raff on alternate Wednesdays by responding to positive comments. So, let's see some money; you need me! And get a grip on those flaggers, no point in your voting for me if some infidel tops off my rewards.
To the guilds
Now, if this isn't engaging content that will attract people to Steemit, I don't know what is, so I expect all you guilds, trails, and what have you to put your money where your mouth is.
To all
Maybe some of you don't understand the above because there is such a huge intellectual gap between me and you and because I couldn't be bothered to draw pictures today. I'll simplify for you:
Give. Me. More. Money.
Thank you for your attention.
To the satirically challenged: I'm kidding.