Scientists have long been baffled by the ever-growing number of people in society who are unable to disregard fake news. These unfortunate beings have a tendency to believe any wild theory cooked up by the Russian and Iranian propaganda machines. It doesn't even matter if their government hold a press conference and explicitly deny the claims made against them, still, the conspiracy theorists of the world foolishly choose not to believe it.
Thanks to a breakthrough in the field of neurobiology, we finally have an understanding of the confusion that is afflicting a rising number of the world's population.
Researchers at the Institute of LIES(Learned Interpretations of Evolutionary Science ) have developed a new type of brain scan that uses fourth-dimensional atomic radiation to analyse organic matter. What this new technology has uncovered is truly spectacular.
Through the comparison of normal brains and the brains of conspiracy theorists , scientists have concluded that the latter suffers from an undeveloped cerebral cortex.
The cause of the anomaly is yet to be discovered, but the evidence reveals that conspiracy theorists are all missing a vital part of their brain. The missing region is responsible for "in-the-box thinking," and without it, subjects exhibit a tendency to allow their imaginations to run free. This can often lead to questions about answers that they have already been given, and answers about questions that no normal person would ask.
In addition to the missing tissue, researchers at LIES also discovered conspiracy theorists to have a chemical imbalance within the body, resulting in a blind faith deficiency and elevated levels of skepticism.
The development of treatments for the illness are underway, with hypnosis being cited as a potential method to restore normal brain function.
Conspiracy theorists on Reddit, Steemit and YouTube have attacked the veracity of the institute's research over the past 24 hours, We can confirm that the integrity of the Institute of LIES is unquestionable, as they have been in receipt of annual funding from both the government and the philanthropic Rockefeller foundation for many years.
Obviously, these organizations would not be funding the research at LIES if it was not a reputable body of science. It is not like they would stand to benefit in any way from these findings..
This post was in response to this article which I found to be incredibly distasteful. In my opinion, satire ought to be a force for good. It is through satire that one can be subtly introduced to ideas, concepts and information that they would otherwise have dismissed had it not been presented in a comedic fashion. This website has twisted the purpose of satire and used it as a propaganda tool to paint truth seekers as idiots. This pisses me off somewhat, and so I intend to live up to my username and post more satire from now on, in an effort to restore the purity of intent that was once associated with this fine art.