I know that God will keep you. Although you do not enjoy spiritual discipline, be faithful to seek God as much as your health allows. I give up realize that eating, physically and spiritually, does not make you now very funny However, you must eat to survive. It would be good for you if you could have some moments of communion with those members of your family in whom you have trust. As to whom you should talk to ... guide yourself by your inner feeling of what is appropriate in each moment. God does not guide you based on tremendous emotionalism, and I enjoy it. Be faithful to the gentle voice, and gentle.
Strong emotions and deep feelings, or looking for signs, can be more dangerous than beneficial. Surely your imagination is thrown by the hills with you behind. God will guide you, almost without you knowing it, if you are faithful to come before Him in stillness. Eat of Him and His word. Love him and I will not tell you to do anything else. Well, if you love him, everything else will work. I am not asking for a tender and emotional love, but simply that you attend to love. Put God before you and the world, and even your evil desires will begin to be transformed.