I think obinna was the first guy who told me "yo Jude my brother, you can have Zina if you want her. All you have to do is be a man and ask her out."
"But i don't think she likes me, i know deep down that she won't settle for me when she has a guy like Ray all over her." My popular response.
Ray always saw me like a guy with low self esteem and that is for a good reason. Have you met me in my best? Yeah you wouldn't even notice because i look the same altogether. I've always tried looking the part, but acting the part is another ball game altogether. It's easier to look the part than to act the part.
My Dad narrated how he dated my mum back then and must confess the man really knew the game back in his day though. If he tried it in this century he would actually be in jail. I know you want me to tell you that story but I'm not here to talk about a man who already has children and is enjoying his old age.
This story is all about me. Sounds selfish right, that was the idea.
Zina is clearly in love with the football captain Ray. Have you even met the guy. His tall, with a brown eye, and a brown hair, he has a red lips. Ohhh, lets not even go into his lifestyle. His Dad owns half of the school but that is not why he is the captain of the football team. He actually deserves it and everyone in the school knows it. He has brought the cup home twice.
I know you think with all this listed he will be a jerk. No, he is not. How I wish he was at least I would show Zina what a nice guy should look like. But Ray is the nicest human being he would ever meet.
I can't count how many girls are actually waiting for him to break up with Zina so they can take up the spot, because he is also a loyal guy. If i was a lady I'm very sure i would fall in line too.
Yeah, I'm just giving you reasons why I'm being a coward. If your younger sister was dating a guy like Ray, please tell me would you ever point her toward my direction. I mean I'm so not fun that the most exciting thing i do in a whole day is brushing my teeth. Yeah, i know Obinna also told me that brushing his teeth is also not fun, and he gave me a speech about a technology he will sponsor that will take care of that for him.
After a long talk with my Uncle Ben, I was finally convinced that i was being a coward. I wonder how he deceived me into writing that letter to Zina even though the both of us knew she wasn't going to say yes to it.
My Dad always told me how my Uncle Ben once sold an old man his won shoes. "If you keep listening to your uncle he could convince you that you are a girl." My Dad said.
I don't think i need to be convinced to believe that though sometimes i feel like a girl. Because who crushes on a girl for 3 years and has never even said hello to her at all.
Uncle Ben said the words and i wrote it down on the paper. He said "tell her how you feel about her. She may not accept you but it will make you a man."
I really wanted to be a man, i had been a girl for a long time not that i stopped feeling like a man. You may say this is the low self esteem talking but that was how i felt.
I sent the letter through Obinna because he was also in the football team. The pleasure was all his because for the first time i saw this happiness in his eyes that i had never seen before. I guess he was really happy that i made the move.
Zina's response was ehmmmmm. I don't know how to put it but i don't think Ray is a nice guy. Because Zina never saw the letter. Ray did and i wonder why he did because Obinna was meant to give it to Zina.
It was all an act. When Ray read the letter, all of a sudden he walked up to me in class and asked that i follow him. I didn't think anything of it because i thought there's no way she would tell Ray that i had a crush on her.
I was taken to the boys rest room and that's how the school for the day was over for me.
They didn't hit me like other bullies do. I never thought such dirty and violent words ever existed. No one who was in my position would ever feel whole after such confrontation. No wonder no one ever made a move on Zina and why nobody knew he was a bully. He used his mouth not his hands. And these are the worst kinds of bullies. You cannot report them to anyone because certainly you have no evidence.
The rejection wasn't from Zina it was from her boyfriend. I still think he shouldn't have done that because after that encounter i finally saw an opportunity with Zina.
All i have to do is step up..