Well I told this on youtube and there were so many questions and responses I thought it might be a good topic to start with.
I'll need to backup a bit. I was diagnosed of schizophrenia at 22 years old in a mental hospital after an episode. I had to move back in with my parents and I was hopeless and was devastated with a failed marriage and failed everything. I hated life and did not want to go on. Suicide seemed to be the only way out. So I took a hand full of pills and cut my wrist and when that hurt too much I hung myself in the bathroom shower.
I did not go to heaven I'll tell you. I went to this place that was very hot and dry. There were large stones maybe 8' x 5' sparsely set about and a lot of other people. Not hundreds but maybe 30 or 50. Everyone was running from stone to stone like hiding but there was no place to hide. It was just run run run until exhaustion and then run some more. There was this beast huge with sharp teeth chasing us all. It didn't take me long until I decided I need to get out of here. I ended up in the hospital but maybe three years later I found Jesus Christ for my guide to life and peace.
That did not cure me of schizophrenia but I was on a path the right path. I began studying the scriptures but still was hospitalized on and off for 17 years due to the schizophrenia. Wandered the streets until police would pick me up and put me in the psych ward then to the state hospital for months sometimes. As the years passed my faith grew and belief and I got better and better. My hospitalizations were shorter and shorter. Finally I was assigned a psychologist and she was very wise and helpful. She pulled out of me a truth that happened when I was a year and a half.
I have a sister that is 18 months older than myself and we shared a bedroom upstairs in the house. She was 3 and we were knapping one day but she wasn't. Actually she was left in poopy diapers and was playing in it. Our mother came in and grabbed her and beat her bloody in fact my mother told me about all this and she said when she was done my sister looked like a pile of hamburger and there was blood on the walls and crib. The thing was I saw the whole thing. I can even remember slowly ever so slowly crouching down I thought I was next.
When this event was brought to light something came out of me. Cannot tell you exactly what that was but I sobbed for a long time. I had flashbacks all my life and it drove me crazy because I could never figure out what all that was, but it was that very moment. I was 40 years old then and have never been hospitalized or taken another nerve pill. I am 70 now.