My parents were alcoholics, they beat me, and yet i saved my mom's life twice.

I will tell you how it all began.....

It has been going on for over 10 years, since i was 7 or 8 years old.

My parents were self-employed, hard working normal people. They did not have much time to socialize with other people or friends. Well, they had many friends, but not really anyone like "best friends," just some people they knew for a long time or work colleagues.

When i was about 8 years old, instead of meeting friends or going somewhere on Saturday evenings they used to sit down in the kitchen and drink a couple of wine bottles.

At the time it seemed innocent, as it did no harm and I used to get sweets or ice cream when dad went shopping to get some wine. A few years went past like this and they spent every Saturday night this, getting drunk.
And then suddenly something changed, instead of drinking wine they started drinking stronger drinks such as vodka or whiskey, the same two bottles on Saturday evening.

There was a very big difference and they started getting really smashed.

And then when i was around 10 or 11 years old it the nightmare began.

On Saturday evenings, once they started to get drunk, they started shouting at each other for hours. Imagine a kid of 10 sitting at home and not being able to sleep and having to listen to parents scream until 3-4 am in the morning.

Every time i was covered in tears, and yet when they got too drunk and went to sleep, I was the one to go and clean the kitchen, make tea for my mom because she used to have terrible hangovers. (Just because I loved them so much, not because I had to). The worst thing was that next day when they woke up, it was like nothing happened. They talked to each other in a normal way and pretended that I wasn't at home.

(but i was and everything was carved out in my kid's heart)

Then another couple years passed like this every Saturday, and a few more things changed. They started drinking in the middle of the week and again on Saturday. Since they were self-employed they could allow themselves not to go to work next day.

One day I came back from school on Thursday afternoon, (they were drinking most of the night), I found the most terrifying thing in my life.

My mom was hanging in the wardrobe with my dad's tie around her neck.

I really thought she was dead at that time. I jumped, lifted her up (as my mom weight only 55kg) took her out of my dad's tie and i saw her breathing.

I did that just in a matter of seconds. After few minutes she stood up and went to bed without saying a word.
I was in shock for hours, but my dad was nowhere to be found. He came back home few hours later apparently as he had gone fishing. I explained to him what happened and he just hugged me and said, "I'm sorry."

Nobody ever spoke about this ever again. Drinking did not stop with this, it just kept getting worse and worse as they started fighting each other after getting too drunk.

I was around 14 years old at that time, and could not sit in my room pretending nothing was happening. One evening I heard mom screaming and sounded like "bum bum".

I ran into the kitchen, saw my mom lying on the floor and dad on top of her beating and smashing her to a pulp.

I pushed him away from her and tried to hold him, but he was all raging so he pushed me into the corner. I fell down, and he started kicking me in my head. I covered myself and he soon stopped. After he calmed down, he took my drunk mother and they both went to bed. Both of them couldn't remember what happened that night.

I wasn't badly hurt physically, but mentally I was hurt terribly, as this was the 1st time my dad beat me.

The same year I saved my mom's life again. There was some kind of parade going on in the city. I was out with some friends and my parents were drinking as usual. I did not wanted to go out, but did just so I wouldn't have to stay at home.

I came back late in the evening, and as soon i opened the door, my mom was lying on the floor, and the floor was all covered in blood.

I panicked. Without knowing what to do to or if I should move her or not, I tried to wake up my dad up and shouted at him, but he was too drunk. Then I realized she hit her head on something sharp in the corner, as her head was next to it and the blood was around her head. I grabbed a big towel put it under her head, and called an ambulance. When the ambulance arrived, I went together with my mom, the doctors sewed her head back together and after spending all night with her. they did let us go.

My mom in the morning was't drunk anymore yet this time she remembered as she cried with me and apologized to me for hundreds of times.

After this they both stopped drinking for a month or two. And once it was all forgotten, it started all over.
There was so many sleepless nights for me.

When I turned 18 year old, I left my parent's house. I just could not bear this any longer.
Don't think I hate my parents as I love them more than anyone else in this world.

Maybe due to this I haven't touched alcohol, and I mean never touched it.

Now since they are older and my mom has cancer, they quit drinking and live a happy life (well as much as possible considering my mom's situation). This may be caused by alcohol, but no one can confirm this, and i am very sad for her.

This is part of my story as there is a lot more during those years, but this is what i wanted to share with you.

-Secret Writer

Note: All gifs are from giphy.com. I have sent an inquiry to them asking specifically for permission to use these gifs for the Secret Writer project. When they reply with a concrete answer, I will know for sure if the copyright extends to this usage. In the case that it does not, I will re-craft all the stories with new images.