There are many things that men don’t know about women’s wants in the bedroom. It’s not because men don’t care, it’s just because the subject either hasn’t come up or she’s too shy to offer you this information. While every woman is different, there are some things all women can generally agree on when it comes to sex, and many things women secretly want in bed. We strongly encourage you to speak with her directly to find out what she likes and dislikes.
Because couples who communicate their needs and desires have far better sex more often, you should encourage her to talk about the things she wants. In the meantime, to get you started, we’re giving you five feel-good secrets she might be hiding.
secret 1
She likes period sex
Generally, this is true, but there are rules. It can tend to get very wet very quickly; throwing a sausage down Niagara Falls may be a more appropriate description. And make sure you are both showered and clean. The other problem you may face is temporary vaginal dryness. If she uses tampons, expect a little uncomfortable friction after she removes it to have sex, and prepare by having some lube handy. She will warm up pretty quickly, but dry sex is painful and unpleasant, so don’t blow your future chances by being too forthright in the entering department. The bonus of period sex is she is likely to be quite randy — hormones make this a positive (but obstacle-laden) time for nookie. Don’t try to go down on her unless you have a death wish or share morbid vampire fantasies because she will knock you out of the way faster than you can say “What’s that taste?”
Secret 2
She doesn’t like never-ending sex
This is faking-it territory. Don’t believe the hype: Being the man means being a man and knowing when to just sit back and relax and enjoy the fruits of your labor. A happy girl on your hands is great, so don’t blow your own rep by trying to prove yourself. Yes, love machines exist, but aren’t they wired to just keep on pounding away? Aren’t they made of plastic and rubber? Women want a lover, not a love machine. Women adore orgasms as much as the next man, but one is good — just make it count. Two is a bonus (but the bonus need not include strenuous and lengthy attempts to achieve) and after that, well that all depends on the situation. Know when to relax into her arms and enjoy the smell of her hair. No doubt, if she is still up for it she will — in no uncertain terms — let you know.
Three more ways to have her screaming with pleasure…
secret 3
She thinks fingers can be unpleasant
When using your digits to pleasure your woman, just remember that the entrance to the vagina has a large number of nerve endings compared to deeper inside the vagina — use this knowledge to your advantage. The point is to give her pleasure, so keep to the pleasure zones: the outside entrance to the vagina, just inside the vagina and the G-spot. When manually stimulating her start off with one finger, and after tickling the outside entrance, gently and wetly enter her body. Start stroking in a come-hither motion on the front wall of her vagina. Here you will find her G-spot. Be gentle; if she wants you to go deeper or harder she will show you by pushing herself onto you. It can get a little uncomfortable for her to have half a hand jamming and slamming away, so always ask before putting another finger in and avoid trying to reach her cervix. Clean, trimmed fingernails are lovely; mucky claws and paws need not apply.
secret 4
She likes trying new things
There are many things she has always wanted to try, but may never have felt comfortable enough to ask for or to initiate. Things she may be afraid of include: anal sex, anal fingering (you or her), bondage, fisting, outdoor sex, and role playing. None of these are as hard core as you both might think; ordinary people do them all the time with very nice results. A fun and easy way to find out what new things she wants to try out is to swap a sexual to-do list with her. Each of you writes a list of things you would like to try together, then swap it and get busy.
secret 5
She’s horny in the morning
Guys and morning wood have been waking sleeping women since the dawn of time. Generally, it can be safely ignored by the not-so-keen woman by pretending to be asleep. If you want to try a different tack, try sliding your moist erection gently between her thighs, just brushing her vaginal lips. Take a little bit of time, and sure enough, just like a beautiful flower, she will (hopefully) open up and let you in because you are unobtrusively enticing her. The trick to morning sex is getting her from sound asleep to highly aroused before 8 a.m. Oral sex also works very well, but the thigh trick is less effort; do what works best for you. A tip is to moisten your penis before doing anything with it. Saliva or lube works; it takes the hard work out of it for you and replaces that “I just woke up and you're mauling me” feeling with “Oh, that feels nice.” Not everyone is a morning-sex fan, so if your girl isn’t too keen on an early morning rise and shine, there are some easy steps you can take to encourage her without making a scene.
sexy secrets
There are many other things that women secretly like or dislike, but every woman is different and so are her secret loves and hates. Another way to find out these secrets is to play games. There are board games that encourage some out of the ordinary interaction; this is great for learning how to communicate better with your partner, and for finding out things you would never have thought to ask. Don’t forget: The best sex is always had by partners who can honestly discuss what they want.