To be honest, I spent a long time trying to think first of a topic, and then what I wanted to write about. What I want to achieve in this piece is to talk about myself as writer, but for some reason it is always hard. I have never been able to fully define or describe myself. Thinking about it now, I cam think of some reasons.
To start with, I have always been shy. Of course, on social media, I talk a lot. But if you want me to keep quiet, ask me to describe myself. I can think of stories from outer space and under the sea but thinking about myself, describing myself in clear words have always been a tough job for me. I’ll just be rambling disjointed thoughts. I think it’s linked to the way I think (maybe.)
Growing up wasn’t smooth, at least for me. My mum was unavailable most of the time so I was left at the mercy of daily caregivers. At that tender age, I had always knew I was different. I wish I could say I wrote breathtaking pieces at that time. Nah, my difference was in the way I reasoned, in the way I see things. I like to think as myself as an extremely practical person.
See, I am just rambling on. Back to being practical. Well, I think in terms of end results. Sometimes, I find it hard to enjoy the process if I believe the end process isn't going to be worth it or it doesn’t affect the end result. Maybe that’s why I’m a bad cook. After all, the goal is to nourish the body. The lack of spices doesn’t change that.
So yes, the way I think makes me weird. It makes me even weirder when I connect things that seemingly don’t have a connection. Only recently, I was chatting with a friend. I told her something and she replied “You don’t mean it.” I replied, “Nah, I don’t mean it. I use either Standard Deviation or Median.” Now, I hate maths. I just found a connection and used it. Thankfully, she considers me a nerd so my ‘joke’ was accepted.
What does everything I just typed have to do with my writing? Well, nothing and everything. For nothing, I live in alternative universes (or so my friends say.) My reality has very little bearing on what I write. I can claim to support abortion in one post and then condemn it in another. For everything, well, I think in terms of end results. What do I want to achieve in a post? To me forms and processes don’t matter unless they enhance meaning.
I’ve been rambling on and I wonder if I’ve been making any sense. Really, if you asked me to write a poem or story about anything specific, I’m sure I would have done a better job. But no, you insist on reading about me. Well, here am I. The writer who think in strange ways, finds unusual connections and is always concerned about what ends it all.
This is my entry for the SIAF's Media Contest by 
Well, thanks for reading
Blessings
[Image source: organiclifestylemagazine.com]