There was some period some while ago when I gave into the Fear of loss, which I address here today to prevent happening again.
The dynamics is the following concisely:
I experience something, I enjoy it, I value it, I get attached to, I want it to last, I see the possibility to lose it, I start to worry that it could happen, I start focusing to worry instead of reality, I fear that it will happen and it happens.
The question what comes after the post-processing of loss and standing up again is that could I still 'lose' if I would not give into the fear? Or it was unrelated, irrelevant?
Or, if I could not give into the fear, going into worry mode, focus to this experience of anxiety, then could I have been doing something differently to prevent the loss?
Or it does not matter, it would have happened anyway?
Should have I got attached to it and enjoy until it lasts and then involuntarily unattached and thus experiencing up and down, or simply should have I simply remain unattached from the get go?
The up and down - as happy and unhappy, positive and negative are completely my creation within this, based on self-definition.
The question is how can I enjoy something without being attached? Is attachment that really bad? Or is just based on misplaced trust, bad luck or inevitable karma?
Some are lucky, they get lasting happiness and the rest are to suffer? Is it a cosmic plan, or a joke or what? Are we completely powerless to our preordained faith or do we really have free will? What's going on, whatwhatwhaaaaat?
The more doubt I let to roam freely, the less certainty I find within about the best and perfect, proper and utmost starting point and practical approach.
What I still see within is the tendency to participate within emotional waves is similar to as ballistic missiles work:
Prepare, plan, consider and then shoot - just as like a ballistic missile - almost literally: scientifically calculate trajectory and fueling and igniting with thoughts/definitions/expectations/fears/convictions, then ascension to the emotional state, then a free flight, while the energy is maintainable/lasts/conditions are set and then the re-entry, back to earth, when it all runs out, conditions end, coming down from the emotion and everything sucks.
- Preparation phase is when I consider what's ahead, considering what to like, accept, enjoy and eventually get attached to.
- Start fuelling and igniting this emotional high, kind of happiness bubble, and within that going into an elevated mind-state, wherein things are looking much cooler, nicer, bearable and there is this drive what gets me through the difficulties: the close proximity and opportunity to experience what I defined as source of my good experiences.
- An inflated balloon or literally going missile mode can vary, but always this emotional overwhelming experience taking over for a while, until it burns out, conditions change or I literally 'change my mind' - interesting expression for sure.
I find the missile analogy quite matching with many of my previous approaches and forming relationships to certain things/individuals and what's the problem with that is while being in the emotional high - just like the rocket, I am just flying through reality, like it's nothing - well, in my mind - and thus whatever happens or changes the dynamics of my setting/trajectory, I often can't respond properly, because I am within emotional state, what obviously distracts and deludes me from seeing facts. Just remember your last really angry moments - 'hraaaaaa'!
Then after all, no matter how high I got - always getting back to earth, to ground from high heavens, smoothly or falling so fast that hitting rock bottom feels like everything is lost.
- This is typical within a relationship when all of a sudden from two love birds one exists firmly, and the other falls from heaven to hell immediately.
- Or when someone tries to make business, investment with emotional drive - never a good idea as one sees what wants to see within desire - or starts to see what fears from happening - both cases are catastrophic for running money-wise decisions within the money system.
The spiritual path I have investigated and participated within about a decade ago considers the non-attachment as solution, however it's not going to work. Sunette Spies explains why:
Non-attachment to Thoughts and the Mind Consciousness System, is not a solution to stopping/changing who a being is within the very fabric/substance of what they’re living within and as the Physical. Because the being IS the Thoughts, IS the Mind Consciousness System that is being lived in and as the Physical. Thoughts are the manifested holographic projection of the manifested Resonance that is Lived in the Physical AS THE BEING Thoughts reflect YOU, as what you are and accept and allow yourself to Live in and as the Physical.
Thus attempting/trying Non-Attachments from Thoughts and the Mind-Consciousness System is attempting/trying Non-Attachment from-Yourself, and that which you’re physically living and manifested yourself to be = which is Impossible."
"The Physical is what is Real it is within and as the Physical, through the Mind that we create and manifest who we are through what we live in and as the Physical, within and through the Mind. Thus, we suggest to start investigating how one is living through the Mind in the Physical, to Stop and become the self-directive principle that live in and as the Physical, instead of through the Mind that create for-you = which manifest consequence, you become the starting-point that stand in and as and with the physical, within the principle of equality and oneness.
This is quite a process, not something that will be solved by/through a Miracle such as mere detachment from what you’ve become, are and live, but a physical practical walking moment by moment, breath by breath as you stop and change you within actual living participation, which self-forgiveness assist and support with."
(More here about meditation/spiritual approach and non-attachment in video -or in article form: http://desteni.org/desteni-material/blog/sunettedimensions-meditation-discussion)
My approach here is to Live Principled as LIFE. Within Principle of What is Best for All.
Many has resonant resistance to the word Principle as I remember, before Principle as Life, I believed, no principle should limit me and what came into my mind was those freaking religious fundamentals one can see within fail compilations.
However I have realized that if the Principle is aligned with what I previously defined as 'my heart and common sense' - it can be cool at facing points wherein I know myself to the degree that I can admit - here temptation can limit me, thus a pillar, which is self-created, self-directed, self-lived - can support me - and thus I support myself with the Principle.
Obviously, the initial approach to blindly trust 'my heart and logical mind' - should first go through a decomposition and re-alignment phase as can be tainted with fear/self-interest patterns, but once getting clear, it's great support and challenge to consider what it really means Life in the best way possible.
Also a typical approach is that people get reactive to the point of 'let go of emotions' - what then, do I become a freaking robocop?
It's such a slow, sluggish, swampy experience to get emotional anyway, totally comparable with getting really drunk with alcohol - it's like to see it's effect when I am a warrior guy and someone jumps out from the bushes and attacks me with a sword.
What's best: to start worried and consider ten ways to utterly die and really get anxious, worried and then shift to anger and THEN counter-attach/defend/run? Or - in the moment of obvious attack - to act immediately? I'd bet to the second approach, and not everything in life is as this imminent and radically comparable to fight, but the same idea applies to each moments - instead of stay in the not cool experience, ACT IMMEDIATELY. Even if it's not the best approach - then that's how I will explore what it would take and how to become that person who can apply the best immediately. Without fear, without worry. Possible, takes effort but totally worthy.
There is difference between thought yourself to death and use practical thinking.
The point here I make is to LIVE WORDS DIRECTLY - not through my energetic mind.
Not to desire, feel or fear love, but to express and experience, LIVE and BE love. Quite a difference!
Same with every word.
- How to decompose the currently limiting, energetically de-stabilizing words and then to re-define them to support me and others?
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Prevention is the key here, instead of sitting onto the emotional bandwagon to feel better, happy, love - to look at more grounded, practical, lasting and real approach on how to share myself and my principles (of love and care, support and enjoyment) with others with common sense, in the flesh, action by action, day by day.
Takes time to re-align, to release the energy addiction, just as coming off from a drug, but once I establish the first steps, I should start not only understand, see, but be able to express and see for myself that by accumulating with the small things I will advance greatly. That's why consistency matters.
Look at businesses, moneymaking ways - relying on the same pillars - look at facts, exclude emotions, accumulate with consistent action.
I mean, one can feel as happy as they want, but that will not provide food, shelter, education, health care.
In this sense a motherly love is also based on these - and she might feel and express her emotions and love, but those are about her, and based on her mindset, background, history and honesty and dishonesty points.
It's the simple shift from happiness to enjoyment -- first is a passive state, based on energy -- second is an expression, based on action and direct experience.
Same with all the similar words - after working on some, should not be a problem to understand the whole thing and what remains is the Job to liberate myself from the delusions to live more freely.
Everyone has their own mind-schemes - some wants family, children - some wants money and fast cars, another a nice farm, a business, to be appreciated, awed, cared for, etc. - these are okay - just how we approach these, ingrained, infested with fear, doubt, shame or greed, anger or addictive tendencies - actually make us incapable of 'reaching' our goals.
And once I am becoming able to prevent myself to go into the same dishonest patterns, I start to CHANGE within my perception and ACTION - and that is how it works - not just disregard, suppress or get detached from what's ahead - but to face, to embrace, to take responsibility for and it becomes more simple, more straightforward. Not necessarily easier, but definitely more honorable and from a point actually enjoyable.