When we think of the word “worth”, we often think of others' opinions and not our own. We believe that we aren't good enough to produce something positive for ourselves. But what's behind this concept of self-worth and does it really matter?
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Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others.
What is self-worth and why does it matter?
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It’s the belief that you matter, that you have value as a human being. Self-worth is based on how we feel about ourselves rather than on any external factors, such as what our parents or peers think of us. If you have high self-worth, then life is good. You’re happy and confident, and you feel as though you can handle whatever comes your way. If you have low self-worth, then life can seem to be a struggle because everything seems so difficult.
Prior to writing this post I always thought that self-worth and self-esteem are the same things. But I found out that they are not necessarily the same thing. Self-esteem is an attitude we have towards ourselves, whereas our self-worth can be seen as a measure of how valuable we think we are to others in general and to ourselves in particular. Self-esteem is something that can fluctuate: it can change over time depending on how you feel about yourself at any given moment.
You might think of your self-worth as being like an emotional bank account: the more deposits you make (such as doing nice things for others or learning new skills), the more secure and happy you feel. When you make a withdrawal in the form of doing something that hurts someone else or making a mistake, you have to make some deposits again in order to rebuild your account.
The past cannot limit your future.
You are what you think, and your thoughts are the building blocks of your life. Your thoughts determine how you feel, how you act, and what happens in your life. If you want to make changes in your life, then changing your thinking is an essential step. It is not enough to simply want to make a change; you must also believe that it is possible and that you can do it. If you think that change is difficult or impossible, then you will find obstacles everywhere. On the other hand, if you think about what needs to happen in order for your goal to come true (and then take action), then your efforts will be rewarded with results.
But always take into consideration to do it moderately too much optimism can give you false hopes whereas too much pessimism will just give you a reason to give up.
Remember that you are not alone. There are many people who have found success by changing their thinking, and there is no reason why you cannot do the same.
Nothing can erode your self-worth.
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No matter what happens, you are still a whole person. You may have made mistakes in the past, but that doesn’t mean that this is all there is to your life. It simply means that you have learned something new and now have the opportunity to do better next time.
Self-worth is not linked to success.
It’s not something that can be taken away by others, and it’s not something that you can lose by making mistakes. Self-worth is a state of mind, and once you learn to accept yourself for who you are then no one else’s opinion will matter anymore.
Take a Look at Your Attitude
Your attitude is the way that you think, feel and behave towards yourself and others. It reflects your thoughts about who you are and how you fit into the world around you. Your attitude can affect everything from your relationships to your career, so it’s important to take a look at it every now and again.
There are times wherein I hate being corrected because it feels like it is a direct attack on me. I am prideful and working my very best to practice humility. Rather than seeing a correction as a way to inflict some damage, look at it on a positive note coming from a concerned individual that values your relationship.
I rarely get feedback from people so I better treasure those and appreciate their time.
Work On Positive Affirmations
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Positive affirmations can help you overcome negativity and foster a more positive outlook on life. They are simple statements that encourage you to focus on the good things in your life, rather than dwelling on the negative. Here are a few examples:
I am calm and centered.
I am happy and grateful for all of my blessings.
I am healthy and energetic.
I am a positive person.
I am confident and successful.
Life is good!
While repeating these words over and over again somehow it became a power that can enhance us and help us get through hard times.
Confront Your Negative Thoughts and Fears
There are two parts to dealing with negative thoughts and fears. The first is confronting them, which means acknowledging that they exist and giving them power over your life. The second part is letting go of them, which means dispelling their influence on you by recognizing their illusory nature.
The best way to do this is by writing out your negative thoughts and fears on paper. Once you've written them down, take a look at them and ask yourself: "Is there anything really true about these thoughts?" If not, then they are just illusions created by your mind and have no power over you.
If you find that your thoughts are true, then ask yourself: "What's the worst thing that could happen if these negative thoughts came true?" Then decide if it's really worth worrying about. Almost always, it isn't.
For example, let's say you're worried about what people think of you. You may believe that if other people find out that you've made a mistake or failed at something, then they'll think less of you and treat you badly. But when you examine this thought more closely, does it really make sense?
Be Kind to Yourself
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If you're hard on yourself, it's easy to believe that other people will be too. But if you've ever made a mistake or done something wrong, how did the people around you react? Did they judge you for it and treat you badly? More likely than not, they didn't.
In fact, most people feel bad about themselves when they make mistakes or fail at something because they don't want to disappoint others (including themselves).
So if people don't judge you for your mistakes, why would they judge others? They won't. The truth is that we're all human and we all make mistakes. Even the most successful people in the world have made major blunders at some point in their lives (and sometimes even now).
If you're feeling bad about yourself because of a mistake you made, think about how the people around you would react if they knew about it. More than likely, they'd sympathize with you instead of judging you.
It's important to develop self-esteem and self-worth. If you feel confident about yourself, positive things will come into your life as a result. If you are constantly down on yourself, it can become a vicious cycle. However, a new mindset can help you identify where your problems lie, and how you can correct them. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to love yourself, but only if you are able to give that love to others as well. Make sure that you always have validating people in your life who boost your confidence and help you see the importance of your own self-worth.