the first time i was ever depressed was around 11 years old when i was in my elementary school music class. i thought i was just a little bit down that day and that it would go away a little later, but i was very very wrong... it only got worse, i started to isolate myself for the next while until i was around 13 and then i found some articles and videos on how people with very bad depression and most of them included cutting, i was a bit scared after i saw that and i was worried and scared to try it, eventually a few weeks later i found a box cutter and i looked at it for which almost felt like hours, but it was only seconds. i put the box cutter to my wrist and very slowly and lightly cut my wrist and i started to cry, and i haven't cried for so long, and it felt so good.. then i got scared and looked up how to hide cuts and i started to wear long sleeves almost every day and i kept cutting every day, i was addicted. i was also terrorified that my mom would find out about it. my mom eventually found out about it and since i was already in therapy at the time my mom brought up that i was self harming, and i refused to talk about it and i kept on cutting anyway. to this day i regret what i do because i still do it. but im still here for anyone who needs to vent or anything. this has been my story of my self harm and suicide.