I’ve slipped into the trap again of avoiding a blog post because I have these MASSIVE ones that I want to write that need lots of thought and quotes and even audio clips and everything… So, then I just don’t write anything, because I need my ‘essay’ to be good, and I hate publishing things I’m not proud of. Frankly, that’s been happening a lot lately. But while Kyle prioritizes blog posts over other things, I prefer to squeeze writing in between things I find more important.
So instead, I guess I’ll just touch on something that’s been on my mind lately.
I listened to a podcast yesterday that re-enforced something I’d been thinking about lately. And the topic was again confirmed in my husband’s latest blog post by accident, since I didn’t know the topic of change had been on his mind. I have felt for a while now that change is a season we’re waiting to step into, but we don’t know what that looks like at the moment.
Also, the topic of change was featured on one of Anatomy of Marriage’s older Marriage Morning series podcasts from February. I don’t remember what it’s called, but if you go back to Feb 2019, the name should jump out at you. Morning 40-something.
A while ago, Kyle shared a sentiment from Brett McKay about asking what your best self would do This is powerful and I’ve thought about and utilised it a lot since. Lately, I’ve used it as a way to envision myself being a better Christian, by practicing responding to situations in a kinder way than I would naturally want to. I’m failing at it. But progress is progress.
Jefferson Bethke has also talked about the idea that if you want to change, you gotta do the thing that makes you the person you want to be. Confused? How about this. If you’d like to be the kind of person that runs 5 kilometres every day, then start running 1 kilometre a day. Don’t focus on the goal, focus on the steps. Once you’ve created the habit, then you just have to keep repeating the steps and you’ll find you’ve reached your goal.
So, what would my best self do? I used this when I made the decision to invest more energy into the friends I have here. Imagining the kind of friend I wanted to be, and then acting accordingly. Mimicry is a pretty strong trait in female aspies, so I needed external role models to show me what being a good friend should look like, and then applying that to my ‘best self’. I used a lot of what I’d learnt from my friend Jeremy to do this, and the rewards have been incredible! Not only have my friends started investing in my life more, they’ve started actively encouraging me to be a better person and to do greater things. I like to think I’m changing and growing my friends too. I’ve watched them become more open about themselves and share hardships and ask for life advice. I firmly believe this is the kind of fellowship God calls us to have with other Christians, and I’m beginning to not only see but also experience the potential benefits of having such a close support system.
So, change! Have a reason, create the habits and steps required to reach your goal, and then share your progress with those who love you. It’s a damn vulnerable thing to do. But it’s damn worth it as well.
