Let’s talk about sex!
Sex is something created by God to be carried out naturally by humans, particularly married couple. That is what the Bible tells us.
But then, have you ever wondered how come must married men find it difficult to satisfy their wives? Oh, they might not say it out loud, but there are about 70% of men out there who cannot give their wives sexual pleasure.
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So what then is the issue? The answer is pain and simple. .. Sexual Performance Anxiety
It sounds silly doesn’t it? But this is the cause of unhappiness in so many homes. Here, I’ll explain how to overcome this silly nuisance.
Remember that time you experienced fear of public speaking? How you shook with anxiety at the thought of having so much people? Well, that can happen when you are able to have sex. It goes with nervousness and then second-guessing.
The good news is, sexual anxiety can be reduced and eventually eradicated. But this can only happen when you train yourself to eliminate all forms of anxiety in your life as a whole.
Firstly, let’s look at what causes that anxiety in the bedroom…
#1 Fear
Sadly, fear follows so many people way down into the bedroom. You just get scared for no particular reason at all, or you get scared something is going to go wrong or you will end up making a total fool of yourself in front of your partner.
You also experience fear in the bedroom when you do not have any experience in the act. You will be wondering, I am not sure I would be able to satisfy him/her. Or, how would I know what pleases him/her? I hope I do not do something wrong or irritable? How do I even start? I hope I do not end up disappointing my partner?
Apart from lack of experience, previous bad experiences could also give rise to fear in the bedroom. Experiences such as rape, molestation and the likes could get you having that feeling of anxiety when you are about to have sex.
#2 Low Self-esteem
We are all familiar with what low self-esteem is. It is a measurement of how you view yourself. Must people do not feel good about themselves and use others to make comparison. Sometimes, you end up worrying what others will think about whom you are dating. If they probably would not approve. Or you are probably wondering if you are good enough for the person you are dating. Which brings us to the most important cause of sexual anxiety…
#3 Low Self-image
So many people deal with issues such as...
Are my boobs too small?
Would he love my naked body?
Do I have too many stretch marks?
is she going to think my penis is too small?
I am probably too fat
What if she thinks I have body odor?
With thoughts such as these, the bedroom experience turns out to be wack and not as enjoyable add it is supposed to be. This is because you tend to be to self-conscious and hence less involved in the activity.
Relationship issues. Stress and depression can also cause this problem for couples. You could also be highly fatigued and cannot concentrate in the sexual activity.
There are also other factors such as physical causes, neurological and even hormonal causes of this problem… but for the sake of this post, we are only going to focus on the above causes of anxiety in the bedroom.
So then readers, if you have in one way or the other experienced sexual anxiety, check out these simple remedies to get you back on your game!
#1 Expand your intimacy environ
Most times, sexual anxiety is caused by a feeling of inadequacy. One partner feels they do not measure up to the other partner’s standards. Hence, the first step is try to know each other better beyond the bedroom. Learn to be comfortable in each others presence. Build up that intimacy level beyond spending time together in the bedroom.
#2 Overcome your fear
If your anxiety is caused by a previous bad experience, you have to consciously try to overcome that fear. You have to accept the fact that you cannot let that bad experience control your future. You deserve better and so does your partner. So it is probably time to deal with those memories once and for all. The fact remains, you survived that bad ordeal. Now it’s the time to move on. You sure do deserve better, so strive for better.
There is also the aspect of fear caused by wrong insinuations of what sex is supposed to be and feel like. The social media, beliefs and the world as a whole may have painted a wrong picture of what you should experience in the bedroom. Dealing with this entails going in with an open mind and one that is ready to learn. This would definitely help in eradicating that fear.
Whatever might be the source of your fear, you have to face them anyway.
#3 Accept yourself the way you are
Your body isn’t perfect, well it is what it is. There isn’t really much you can do about it. Just learn to accept yourself that way. Except it is something like too much weight that you can work on in order to be healthy, your partner should learn to accept you the way you are.
If you are worried about what others will think. Just stop. They are not the ones in the relationship. It is just you and your partner, so learn to accept that so you can get on well in the bedroom. It is only your opinion that matters. You like that person, then you like him/her. No one should be able to affect that.
P.S Your bedroom experience does not have to be filled with mind-blowing sex every single day! That’s how it should be. This can only lead to anxiety and feeling of failure when you do not get that feeling every time. Just enjoy sex for what it is… Just like the beginning of this post, that is what God created it for.