The party I'd like to forget!
Some things you can't un-see!
It's true, most of my parties are fun and mostly PG-18. However, there was the day that I walked into a party and new I was in for a ride.
The hostess was young and the house was small and falling apart. I do parties for all income levels and while a big house seems like it would be a better party for sales, it's not always true. This party was one of the ones that looks were not deceiving, though.
We had about 12 women crammed in a small living room and they were up for a wild time. The hostess's mom and two aunts were also in attendance. It was a big family affair. If you think that's weird for a sex toy party, you'd be surprised how often it's done.
Shots were brought out at 2:00 in the afternoon and mid party a joint was lit. Now maybe you are pro marijuana and maybe you aren't, but to pull it out and light it in the middle of a stranger coming in your house to do business is not the best idea. Just sayin. (she was asked to put it out and did)
Signs that thing were getting crazy.....
At the time I offered a product that you could go to the bathroom and try on the clitoris. I taught on the amazing things this product does, if you are a women you need a sex enhancement cream.
The average women takes 20 minutes to become aroused and the average man takes 7 minutes from start to finish. If you do the math there, he is done long before we are even ready to go.
At the end of the demo, I offer to put a pump on their fingers so they can go to the bathroom and try it on their clitoris. The first woman takes her pump on her two fingers and yells, "Hey mom! Look at this." She lays back on the couch, crushing her friend, hikes a leg up and puts her hand down her pants and rubs it on right in front of everyone.
I'm thinking everyone will laugh and then we will get back to semi normal where they go to the bathroom or bedroom. Boy was I wrong! She started a trend. Mom takes a pump, standing up and shows her daughter how your "really supposed to do it" and hand down the skirt rubs it on. At least that is how I choose to remember it. Truth is, there is a very good possibility it was up the skirt. Not a pretty picture.
All hell broke lose after that! A dozen women all rubbing their clits right there in the living room and me standing there thinking WTF am I going to do next? There is no way these women are going to touch the rest of my stuff. I know where their hands have been and not one person was going to the bathroom to wash their hands.
Thankfully, one of the ladies pulled out baby wipes and I started breathing again.
The party went on and we get the part where we talk about blow jobs, to which mom, very loudly, displays her absolute disgust with sucking on a penis. She is in no way EVER going to do that, add some choice words, fake vomiting and a super loud old woman and you get the picture.
I get it, oral is not for everyone. And women do oral a lot of different ways. It's cool, do your thing and be proud of it! It's the next thing that she said that made me stop the party and almost pee myself, I was laughing so hard.
This little old woman then tells everyone, "You want to make a man happy, you suck on them balls!"
WHAT did she just say?! She will vomit at oral, but suck the balls. There are no personal feelings aside in the moment, I lose it! And so did every woman in the room.
God bless the little old ladies, you never know what they will say!
Thank you for stopping by, may your sex be better than your porn!
