People should not have sex without talking about it — lovingly, salaciously, practically, fearlessly — and often. How else can we know how to thrill each other? Couples don't ask for what they want because they're afraid they won't get it. If you don't ask, however, you are sure not to get it. The spoken word can be foreplay, intimate and hot. Be brave. Dr. Ava Cadell suggests this sex game. Plan to make a night of it:
First, set the mood for a romantic evening with your partner. Then write all your sex fantasies on three-by-five-inch cards. All of them, no matter how bestial, or politically taboo.
Then, read your cards together and, as you do, divide them into three piles: fantasies you want to turn into reality (e.g., sex in an airplane lavatory); fantasies you want to keep that way (e.g., sex with your man and another woman); and fantasies that do nothing for one of the partners (e.g., sex with Big Bird).
Finally, discard the pile of fantasies that turn a partner off. Keep the other two piles. Have one partner choose a card from one of them, and then do whatever's written on it. If he chooses this time, you get to choose next time. If the chosen fantasy is one you both want to keep a fantasy, you don't have to actually do it — just make love as you talk about it. Example: He picks the fantasy where he makes love to you and another woman (most men's number one choice). Start to make love while both of you describe, in exquisite carnal detail, who's doing what to whom and how.