I wonder a times if those sex styles, skills, positions, etc shown on porn sites are actually the way we do it reality. Some of the lies created by those porn thus :
Everything you do will make a woman moan and there are no other sounds
From the first moment you touch a woman, she will be unable to help herself from moaning and panting. The man doesn't make any stupid sounds at all. No one asks for things they want unless they can be conveyed in really dirty, breathy exclamations. And there's absolutely no sounds of stomach flab smacking together in a joyous celebration of your average bodies.
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Girls love when sex lasts a long time
All guys know that it's good to make sex last, but only real porn experts know that you shouldn't be wasting time on foreplay or stimulating any part of the vagina other than the deepest part you can reach. Girls are just looking for a long stretch of vaginal pummeling, nothing but in and out for as long as you can.
Sex on a leather couch is a good idea
You know that feeling of going to a diner on a hot summer day, sitting at a vinyl booth, wearing shorts, and then, at the end of the meal, ripping your thighs off the seat? Ah, the greatest feeling on Earth! Sex on a leather couch is that, but with your whole sweaty, naked body (and without the benefit of eating french fries). Add on the fact that every shift in position will lead to a leather fart sound, and you've got yourself a real sexy time.
Blowjobs are always involved
Every porn connoisseur knows sex goes like this: lame conversation, then three seconds of boob mashing, then five minutes of dick sucking (because it's important to make sure the guy is excited and ready to go before sex), followed by a lot of vagina stabbing that the girl is totally into because giving that blowjob turned her on so much. That's just what sex is and everyone is cool with that, not just the sleazy dudes who make porn.
Sure, go ahead and visit everywhere
You're clearly caught up in a moment of great physical pleasure. Are you supposed to hinder that by NOT shooting semen all over your significant other, sheets, and the nice duvet cover that's really hard to take off and put on the comforter? Yeah, you could keep things tidier if you made even the slightest effort, by why would you do that when you could force yourself to either instantly do laundry or have your whole life smell like chlorine-y bread. Because, yes, that's what it smells like.
Just shove it in any which
You might think that the reason sex feels so good is because you're creating lots of friction by putting your penis in a tight grip of muscles, but no! Vaginas are gaping chasms that can easily be penetrated from any angle with absolutely no resistance. Definitely just try to jab it in by humping in the general direction of her pelvis. This will work and feel great for everyone!
You must change positions at least 8 times
God, sex is so dull. Just rubbing genitals until orgasm. Blah. The only way to have fun and be good at sex is to constantly change positions. Keep everyone on their toes! (Literally, this one position doesn't account for height difference and will require you to balance on your toes until you switch positions again or get charlie horse.)
Putting dirty shoes on the bed is acceptable
Gosh! That's disgusting.
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