I'm going to start off by saying I don't always makes the best drunk decisions,so I usually don't drink. This is the story of how I found out a pimp is a real thing and how I by passed his ass and got laid in the back of the club,for free. So me and my buddy went out bar hopping, not usually my thing but I was depressed because I just had a pretty bad break up. The bars were closing soon and we weren't ready to go home so we decided to hit the strip club. We pull up at this shitty little club in a ghetto ass little town in West virgina. We go in grab some beers and get comfortable upfront by the stage watching the dancers. The first one I noticed was this really cute blonde chick about my age with the fakest boobs you've ever seen. I'm good at getting strippers to have conversations with me, it's really strange. So after her couple songs were done this really gorgeous asian dancer came out. So she starts talking to me because once again they always do. This guy approaches me and ask if he can hook me up. I said "in regards to what". I thought this guy was another gangbanger just selling dope but he pointed at the girl dancing. I said "nah man I'm good". He leaves and this stripper comes back still dancing leans down and whispers in my ear " get a private room and I'll play with your cock". Holy hell my drunk depressed ass got excited I said " cool let's go have another drink first untill the next song starts" we go over I get a beer she got some kind of wine. I asked "who was that guy" "what guy" she replied. " The guy that just tried to sell you to me" " i have no idea what your talking about "she said. I shrugged it off we made our way towards the back of the club. We made out for a few minutes outside the private dance room which was weird considering what happened next. We go into the room and the song comes on she's completely naked, dancing on me and whispers in my ear we can do anything you like. Next thing I know she's got my pants half off sucking my dick and looks at me and says " I'm just going to put it in for a minute". A minute turned into the next two songs and we finished. The bouncer was standing guard the whole time with his back to us. She started putting her clothes on and said " you should give me a nice tip and your phone number" . Everyone the two minutes after you cum is when you do the clearest thinking. I said thinking fast" I have some fire ass weed in the car would you rather have that?" Her eyes lit up with excitement. I said " let me go get it out the car". I let her keep talking about how she wanted me to give it to her discreetly. I calmly walk out whisper in my buddies ear who was super drunk face " we have to go now" he knew I was serious and we put our coats on and head for the door. In the parking lot he was all freaked out and yelling " what's going on do I need to get the gun?" I said calmly " nah it ain't like that" we get in the car and tell him the whole thing. I'd never got so many high fives he was super excited I was still in shock. I woke up the next morning and I can tell you bad decisions taste like weird cheap wine ,weed and a strippers lipstick. I'm glad I'm clean