The hottest tips, sultriest bedroom moves, and most surprising advice you need to shake up your between-the-sheets routine.
FOCUS ON INTIMACY
Turns out the best sex tips aren't always about the sex. A relationship "cannot survive without intimacy," says sexy and relationship therapist Mary Jo Rapini. "If you don't have it, then the sex isn't good." True intimacy, she says, involves actually listening to the other person — and opening up about what you're thinking and feeling.
OWN YOUR SEX LIFE
Rapini is insistent that "women have got to reclaim [their] sex lives." It's not just about your partner, it's about your pleasure, too!
So, how do you do that? Try getting to know your body even better, by exploring it — with your hands or a vibrator.
PUT YOURSELF FIRST
Rapini suggests a specific little toy that provides clitoral stimulation — the Fiera. Attach it to your clitoris for fifteen minutes and enjoy. Since it's hands-free, you can even use it during sex (or by yourself, to get to know your body).
SCHEDULE SEX
It may sound unsexy, but a huge part of having hot sex is scheduling it. Rapini says this is about prioritizing it. "Skin to skin contact is really important," she says. (Think about it: by simply making a sex a priority, you're not putting it on the back burner and hanging it out to dry.)
PLAY A SEX GAME
If you have a hard time thinking of exactly how to make up crazy positions or how to change up your foreplay, don't sweat it — the retail world has your back. Start with some sexy dice that will tell you what to do to each body part. It does the thinking — all you have to do is the fun stuff.
USE A TOY THAT'S FUN FOR BOTH OF YOU
Add sex toys to your routine — and use one that's fun for the both of you, like the WeVibe.
HAVE A LITTLE PDA
There's nothing like a little PDA to get things going...you'll both get turned on, and you'll have something to really look forward to later that night.
LET YOURSELF FANTASIZE
While it may sound counterintuitive, eyeing a stranger is one of the best ways to boost your libido after a long sex slump, says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., author of The Good Girl's Guide To Bad Girl Sex. "Checking out other men puts sex on the brain and gets you thinking about the next time you'll get hot and heavy with your guy." Of course, pure fantasy about the sexy barista with the cute smile is totally fine, but anything beyond that is off-limits. (And, uh, no one said there's anything wrong with fantasizing about a celeb!)
MAKE A SEX BUCKET LIST
You make a grocery list every week, so why not do the same for your sex life? "Be daring and spontaneous," says sexologist and podcast host Emily Morse. Make a numbered list of the things you and your husband want to try and set a date for when you want to accomplish those goals by. "What matters is the thrill of new places and new moves to go with them. You can't revert back to old-fashioned missionary when you're doing it in a cramped shower stall," explains Morse.
CREATE A SECRET SEX CODE
It could be as simple as, "Come tuck me in" or "You have homework," but making up a few sexy code words you can text throughout the day can be really beneficial to your relationship. Couples who use just-between-us language are happier in their relationship than couples who don't, according to a study published in the Journal of Social And Personal Relationships.