Hmmm sometimes sex can be an uncomfortable topic to discuss especially between couples.
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Some of us feel embarrassed about our body or being sexually rejected.
Secondly our culture and life experience makes us create a feeling of sexual shame, thereby making intimacy and romance a scary endeavor to even talk about.
Study shows that over 600000-70000 people in 24 countries find couples who have great life making sex a priority rather than their to do list.
They create time for such connection and intimacy regardless of their jobs,kids and schedules.
They create time to talk about sex and pleasure through varieties of methods not just inter course.
Couples who are sexually satisfied stay together inside and outside.
They learn to value their friendship and also support themselves.
Here are guildlines to having a sex filled marriage.
-1- learn to sex talk -discuss about it.
The obstacles to having good sex is talking about sex itself.
Most couple vague out rather than vulnerably tell each other what they need.
You talking about it with your partner deepens your emotions and intimacy.
It allows you to express your likes and dislikes and also be able to build a meaningful sexual relationship with one another.
2- learn to redefine your sex.
You add your own unique attitude about sex that shaped you by your life experience.
Many women feel ashamed to talk about it, they prefer reading books regarding itbuy never expressIt, but what they don't understand is that those books do not get details on sex.
While most men worry about their performance on bed,women worry about achieving orgasms.
They are ashamed and under pressure.
Have not been married but I do have friends who are and their complaints.
So my suggestion to them and to you is that you slow down and enjoy the entire experience.
Lemme quote Dr Gottman
He said
"every time you turn towards each other you build trust and intimacy"
So redefining sex makes physical relationship more pleasurable even if orgasms isn't achieved.
You not stressing about having orgasms makes it easier for you to have one.
Note: a great and lovable sex is a byproduct of a great connection with each other.
3- Try to build an erotic love maps
Yes ! It helps a lot
A love map that guides you on what turns your partner on or off erotically.
Making a map on your partner tells you His /her desires. The map helps you ask your partner specific questions about things they like or need.
Questions like
How he/she felt about the last sex, what made them connected, what turned him on,how he sees a better sex, what ignites his mood for sex, what kind of fantasises he/she had during sex.
It really matters.
3 - Create ways for having and refusing sex politely
Some people assume that their partner know when they need sex.
These assumption can be mislead. Sometimes you should learn to understand signs.
It could be a wink or an eye contact.. It shows you understand the verbal and nonverbal signals.
Don't always say a blunt no
There are ways to refuse your partner sex politely. Sit and talk about it, It creates boundaries and makes you less worried. It shows he / she has accepted how u felt at that moment without holding a grudge.
4 - Learn to create time for conversions about intimacy frequently
Make effort to continuously talk about it, don't just feel he /she understands. Continuously ask questions about his desires. They might have changed in the course of time.
By doing all these, it makes your partner express what they need and feel loved.
And
Also reduces the rate of cheating.